I regret to inform you that, due to the current economy, I am going to have to start charging a fee for every email unless you are a gold member of our frequent emailer club (that would be my dad, Hilton Hotels, David Cseke a.k.a. Daffy Duck, and that guy from Ethiopia who claims he's going to give me a million dollars).
The fee will be $15 for every email, unless it is over sized, in which case you will have to pay $75. If your email weighs over 50 pounds you will be charged $45.
It's quite possible that, with these new fees in place, people who are not frequent emailers will stop sending me email. It's hoped that, with the over sized email fee in place, people will stop forwarding their junk mail to me, which includes shit I read back in 1996 (the Smithsonian letter comes to mind), those stupid chain letters, or emails with pictures of soldiers, hearts, or puppies.
I accept cash only, preferably a currency that's not depressed.
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