it all comes down to socks

Today I learned a fact that I seriously could have gone my whole life without knowing: people started wearing high heels to avoid stepping in human excrement when walking down the street.

Thank you NPR for ruining my image of stilettos FOREVER.

And, while in the gym, trying to find ways to blank that particular fact out of my mind, I got stuck watching a baseball game, which is weird, because there is some big hockey "series" thing going on (going on forever, it's like the primaries - I think it started about a billion years ago and they still haven't gotten to some playoff thing, which, by the way, is for the "national" hockey thingy even though Canadian teams are playing - oh hockey, the sport that makes no sense, spawned by theoretical physicists as respite from writing papers on worm holes) and it seems like they shouldn't be playing together as one is a winter sport, and one summer, but whatever.

There was a guy on one of the teams that had the ugliest blue socks pulled all the way up to his knees. I'm not sure what team he was on because I was listening to my MP3 player, not the TV, and the symbol for his team name was just some cryptic letter on his hat. You know, they can have a huge advertisement for Viagra on the wall but allah forbid they put a team name on the uniform so we can know who's playing. It's like, oh look, the blue socks people against the other guys.
The other team were these other guys, not sure who they were either, except that they kept showing this Japanese guy (wonder if he knows how to make sushi, he was kind of cute and looked like he wouldn't talk too much) and they all had super long pants. In fact, the pitcher had pants that were down past his shoes. And, while we're on that subject, his shoes were ugly. They were white and looked like something you might find in a geriatric hospital. You would think an athlete who has to use his feet would have the sense to buy a sexy little pair of cleats or whatever it is they wear to pitch a ball, with some stylie laces but no. He'd rather look like grandpa.

Thank allah I could not see what color socks he was wearing. It might have forced me to swear off baseball forever. That is, the time every two years watching an hour of a game in the gym. It doesn't seem like a lot but it adds up.

So the guy batting was wearing these puffy pants (reminding me of how, in Greece, everyone said "pantaloons" when they meant "pants" - lost in translation) and ugly socks, and the guy throwing a ball at him was wearing baggy pants and ugly shoes, and, you are going to tell me that millions of Americans watch this sport? No wonder why I see so many fashion don'ts in my classes...