croco-diamond, the sequel

I have a friend who graciously offered to read The Colossal Cringle Crisp Caper to his daughter, Marie, who is 6. I guess she liked it because he's reading it to her for the third time. I guess he's sick of it because he asked me to write a new story about the croco-diamond.

So I gathered some information from him (to be honest, I think he provided 3 useful facts) and then decided to write a story about the croco-diamond going to school with Marie. I have to finish the story by Saturday because they'll be done reading C4 by then.

Here's the first part. BTW, all of the "non-croco-diamond world" stuff is true (e.g. the tribes of the congo and National Pepper Pot Day).

ON the particular day of which we speak, which is a day you may remember as it didn’t happen too long ago, the croco-diamond found himself eating breakfast alone. The giant man had gone to the dentist to have his teeth cleaned, and since his teeth are so big that would take all day. The kangawrong was at tambourine camp. The croco-diamond was supposed to be at cooking school to learn to be a master chef. But he had been kicked out after doing something VERY BAD which we won’t mention here, except to say that eventually the flour cloud settled and most of the students stopped coughing.

So he wandered over to Marie’s house, where Marie was eating breakfast. “Marie,” he said, taking a seat at the table while sneakily pulling a cookie off the counter with his back foot, “I’ve decided to go to school with you today. I, of course, went to a very rigorous boarding school. It would be interesting to see what it’s like to go to a Waldorf school. I am quite fond of the idea of crayons, though I haven’t used one before. And I know a few poems that may amuse your classmates.”

Marie wasn’t sure that it was a good idea for the croco-diamond to go to school with her, but he looked so forlorn sitting at the table with cookie crumbs on his snout. Marie agreed that he could attend her school. The croco-diamond rushed home to prepare.

When Marie was ready to leave she looked out the window and saw the croco-diamond in the driveway, a white scarf around his neck and aviator goggles over his eyes. In addition, he was carrying a flashing red stop sign and a large picnic basket.

“Oh no,” sighed Marie. “I wonder what the croco-diamond is up to this time.”

She walked outside with her back pack. “I will carry you to school, on my back, like a dragon rider of olden days. Dragon riders, as I’m sure you know, were charged with keeping the peace and underwent years of training in magic, physical endurance, observation, and swordsmanship. They lived on their own island called…”

“That’s interesting, Croc, but we are going to be late for school.”

And so Marie climbed on the croco-diamond’s back, holding the picnic basket in front of her, and they set off for the Waldorf school. That is, until the croco-diamond saw some children on the sidewalk.

“Stop, stop!” commanded the croco-diamond at the cars in the street. He waved his flashing red stop sign around and the cars came to a screeching halt. Even the children stopped and stared.

“What are you DOING Croc???” asked Marie.

“I thought you knew. It is national child safety month. I must protect the children!”

“What in all of the worlds is going on?” asked one of the drivers.

“It appears there is a…croco-diamond…in the street waving a stop sign. A very bright, blinking red stop sign. He’s…he’s also wearing goggles.” Said another driver.

“Wait a minute. Is that Marie with the croco-diamond?” Asked another driver.

“Come on Croc or we’ll be late for school!” said Marie, ducking behind the picnic basket so no one could see her.

Eventually the croco-diamond reluctantly let Marie put his flashing stop sign in the picnic basket where it could cause no further traffic jams.

Even with the delays they arrived at school a few minutes early. Marie climbed off the croco-diamond’s back and he said, with a flourish that was a bit dramatic, even for the croco-diamond, “Show me immediately to the school mistress so that I might collect my sash!”

“Your…sash?” asked Marie.

“Yes, my sash. My visiting dignitary sash. Hopefully it has gold lettering. Silver washes me out and makes me look sleepy.”

“I…I don’t think school has…sashes.” Said Marie. “I think they just give you a name tag.”

“Name tag? Of what material is this “name tag” made?” asked the Croco-diamond.

“It’s a sticker.” Said Marie.

The croco-diamond’s head rose proudly, and he stood on his hind legs. “We, my tribe I mean, are royalty. Which means, obviously, we do not wear stickers.”

“Oh.” Said Marie, unsure what to do next.

“It’s no problem,” said the croco-diamond. “One always must plan for the unexpected when one goes on an adventure.” And he pulled out a sash from the picnic basket, which seemed to be pulsing with a red light due to the flashing stop sign. The sash was royal purple, with large gold lettering that said ‘Most Distinguished Visitor’. Underneath was smaller gold lettering that said ‘croco-diamond royale-ty talk-i-mus non-stop-i-tus , guest of the king of South Norwand Island Territories and other protectorates.”

 

“You do realize we’re in Canmore?” asked Marie.

“Yes, well, I did not have time to update my sash,” said the croco-diamond. And with that they went to see the school mistress.

The school mistress was quite surprised to see a croco-diamond in her office. And even more surprised when the croco-diamond took a seat, pulled out from the picnic basket a fancy tea cup and saucer, as well as some McVitibles’s digestive biscuits (he had meant to grab the box of chocolate chip cocoanut cookie nibbles, but with his goggles on inside the giant man’s house he couldn’t read the boxes), and sat with his hind feet up on the blinking red light picnic basket.

“You have been to the South Norwand Island Territories I presume?” he asked the school mistress, sipping his tea.

“No, I haven’t. They are quite remote. I…I was wondering how I might help you?”

“Well, I’ve decided to accompany Marie to school. She has agreed to be my escort. She will do a fine job. I presume she has told you I will not wear a sticker.”

At this Marie and the head mistress exchanged looks.

“I see.”

The croco-diamond attempted to put his tea cup down but couldn’t quite see where the table was because of his goggles. Marie helped him put it down.

“Maybe you should take your goggles off.” Marie suggested.

“Absolutely not! I cannot take these goggles off!”

“Oh.” Said Marie.

“Aren’t you going to inquire as to why I am wearing them?” Asked the croco-diamond.

Marie thought that maybe she wasn’t going to inquire because normally when she asked the croco-diamond questions it took weeks to get to the end of the answer. 

“Since perhaps you are too shy to inquire, I will answer your question without you asking. Besides being national child safety month, it is also aviation history month. In honor of that I’m dressed as a pilot. Surely at the Waldorf school you are aware of these holidays. THAT LAST A MONTH. BUT THEY’RE STILL HOLIDAYS.”

The school mistress looked at Marie, who shrugged her shoulders. 

The croco-diamond continued, “You might also not be aware then, that today is also Look For Circles day, Deviled Egg day, Clean Your Refrigerator day, Button day, Have A Party With Your Bear day, Square Dance day, Mitten Tree day, Cotton Candy day, National Noodle Ring day, Look On The Bright Side day, Make Cut Out Snowflakes Day, Pepper Pot day…”

“How interesting,” Interrupted the school mistress. “But it is also a school day. Perhaps you and Marie should head to her classroom so she isn’t late.”