smoking and stressed stewardesses

I was sitting at the Calgary airport on Friday reading Barry's first chapter. The book is amazing. I can't wait to read more.

But I was interrupted by this very rude old woman sitting at a table 10 feet away from me. "Can you smoke in here?" she asked me.

"You have to go outside" I said, wondering why she was talking to me.

"Well you need to stop smoking this instance!" she yelled. Everyone else in the lounge turned around to look at me.

"I'm not smoking." I said. I realized she had confused my fake cigarette with a real one but I guess I just felt like being an asshole.

"What's that then?" she asked, pointing at my fake cigarette.

"It's an atomizer." I said. "Real cigarettes smoke. You would be able to smell the smoke. That's how you can tell someone is smoking."

The waitress came over at that point to refill my water glass. The old woman waved her over and asked to to make me either leave or quit smoking. The waitress said I was allowed to fake smoke and that she could reseat her if it bothered her to watch me smoke (fake cigarettes don't really smoke, and there's a faint odor, but the lounge smelled like fried food, so I doubt anyone would notice it).

The old woman went on to comment to her friend and the people at the tables around her "I can't BELIEVE she is doing that in here!" like I was running around on the tops of the tables with my clothes off or something. ANNOYING.

Then the stewardess on my flight home lost her shit when she thought one of the passengers hadn't turned off his kindle during the landing. He tried to show her it was off and she started screaming at him that she could see text (which you can because the kindle has a splash screen when it's off). She kept saying "DON'T YOU DIS-RESPECT ME!!!!!" Then she went to the front of the plane and gave a 5 minute speech about how he had endangered all our lives. Everyone on the plane was laughing.

Ech. Can't believe I have to fly again tomorrow...