even flip flops can't help some people

The day started out with me having to take a cold shower because the water heater at my hotel is broken (shocking, I know, since I’m paying $70 a night to stay here).

But, I’m teaching a subject that is my favorite thing to talk about. And even though most of the students in my class are not that bright, they are trying. In fact, I told them the secret to being a good architect is to wear flip flops (embarrassed to say I have been wearing them since I got back from the ME dress codes be damned). The next day every one came in wearing flip flops. Hee.

Except, there's one guy in my class who is a fucking pain in the ass. He complains constantly (he is apparently unable to read directions). His boss is also in my class and described him as "not a doer". So in one exercise today he was having problems. I stood behind him and tried to verbally guide him since the step by step instructions in the student manual were beyond his comprehension.

me: click on the tools menu

idiot: I don't see that option

me: that's because you clicked on the file menu

idiot: I still don't see it

me: that's because you are clicking on a diagram INSTEAD OF THE FUCKING TOOLS MENU WHICH I HAVE TOLD YOU TO DO TWICE NOW (okay, I didn't say the caps part)

idiot: so should I click on the tools menu? where is the tools menu?

me: (at the top of the screen just like it is in EVERY OTHER FUCKING APPLICATION) let me show you

idiot: no, because if you drive then I'll never learn anything and that doesn't help me at all

me: (would it help if I kicked you in the nuts?)

Anyway, at lunch today I was working on my book proposal when idiot walked in and started screaming at me. It seems his car had been towed. He was acting as though I had personally towed it. The facts:

1. We were given an access code to get into the parking garage first by email before the class started, and then at the beginning of class Monday. The code is written on the white board literally 10 feet from idiot's face.

2. The spot where he parked was clearly marked 2 hour parking, and we were warned they tow cars.

3. Two warning messages had been left on idiot's car the previous two days for parking all day in a two hour parking space. Idiot was warned TWICE that his car would get towed.

I later talked to the guard in the lobby. He was so pissed at idiot because he had warned him that very morning not to park his car there because it would get towed. Idiot refused to move it. The guard decided to have it towed.

In any case, we got idiot's car back even though that is NOT my fucking job. I don't even WORK in the building, I'm only teaching there for 4 days. Ech.

Though, I have to admit, at the end of the day, when idiot was having problems due to his inability to not be a fucking moron every second of his life, and he asked me "why isn't this working?" and I responded (with more of an edge to my voice than I should have) "because the software doesn't like you", he actually smiled.