my special forces surprise

Today I was sitting in my cube drawing a data model and trying to drown out the conversation around me. With all the euros back from vacation I felt like I was in a Wallace and Gromit cartoon. They were complaining about having to work a 10 hour day right after getting back from vacation.

I was also a little worried because my base pass has expired and my colleague AH had taken all of my paperwork to get a new one. If security came by to check everyone's papers I was going to be in trouble.

So when a high ranking commando in cammos walked into the office I tried to pretend to be really busy so he wouldn't notice me. But he walked right up to my desk. He said something like "are you Franki?", but he couldn't pronounce my name, so that isn't quite what he said (my name is as hard for them to say as theirs are for me). I turned around and noticed he had two guns strapped outside his uniform. Uh oh, I thought. Conversation in the room ceased as everyone was well aware I didn't have my base pass.

I admitted to being me, and then saw he was also carrying two plastic bags. One had what appeared to be a sippy cup full of something pink (for reasons I'll never understand, people here put drinks in plastic bags, and then hand them to you, causing the drink to spill inside the bag and the cup to get all sticky). The other bag had something oblong in it.

He said "strawberry is heavy, watermelon is light, so light for you" and he handed me the sippy cup. It contained watermelon juice. Then he said "I present you." He handed me the other bag. "A meat sandwich". Though I've had guys say and do many strange things around me, I've never had one give me a present of a meat sandwich. I must have looked confused. He said "with hummus". I nodded and smiled as if I understood exactly what was going on, and thanked him. He did an abrupt about face and left the room.

It turns out my colleague AH put this guy up to delivering me a lamb sandwich, I think because he was tired of listening to me whine about how much weight I lost during ramadan (gained back a total of 7 lbs as of today). But then it was like the flood gates opened. After I finished the sandwich another guy in the office brought me falafel balls. The little french twits that sit near me were like "oh, did you see that dog outside?" as I bit into one (admittedly, it did look like poo).

Then my colleague brought me a lunch box from this Saudi restaurant. It had two huge pieces of fish, more rice than one person could eat in a day, yogurt sauce, something like salsa but not, and a salad. It will probably take me three more lunches to finish it.

One thing I'm learning is that in general arabs are very hospitable and generous. And if you show the least amount of gratitude they will go over the top to do even more for you. The other day I was walking with two of my colleagues who had both offered, in spite of my refusals, to carry my bag and one finally said "This is embarrassing. You are with two men and you are carrying your laptop. If anyone sees us they are going to wonder what kind of men we are to make you carry your own bag."

Now I'm thinking. Could I have been getting these guys to drive me around, get me food, and carry my stuff all this time? Hm. I wonder how long it will take me to turn into a total prima donna in these conditions.