witch, bitch

On Saturday I went to a party for a girl that I've been good friends with since college. She just graduated from med school. I'll call her G.

Her family is filipino, so the parties are always big and a little crazy. I was introduced to many aunties and uncles. I couldn't remember any of their names. There were only a few caucasian people there and it made things interesting because everyone was speaking tagalog. I had no idea what was going on until the dancing started. After eating a bunch of traditional filipino food we were supposed to do these dances. After 3 songs I had a headache so I went outside on the balcony.

There I was joined by Fur, G's sister, and her partner Kelly. The only other caucasian guy, whom I went to college with, also came out. We sat around for a few hours smoking and drinking.

The guy, whom I'll call X, took one of my classes when I first started teaching karate. I was commenting to him that even though we hung out in college and have been to some parties since graduation, we've never had a real conversation. I always thought he was kind of uptight and a bit of a girl. But the more I talked to him the more I realized I was wrong.

I started out our real conversation asking him about his back, which he just had surgery on. I then said that he really hurt his back having sex with 4 cheerleaders at the same time. Fur and Kelly added to the story. X played along.

Then we started talking about masturbation, tarot card reading, ghosts, racing cars (X had spent the day on an auto cross course). Kelly considers herself a white witch and read our palms. It turns out X has a perfect 7 on his palm, which is good luck. My life line doesn't reach the end of my hand, which may not be a good thing. I am also, according to my birth time, and old spirit, which means I did bad things in my previous life so I got sent back here to learn my lesson. Based on the insanity that is my life these days, I must have had a lot of fun, whatever I was doing. My lines are light which supposedly means I'm a fragile spirit. I disagreed with that, but decided not to get into an argument with a stoned witch who was also consuming prodigious amounts of alcohol.

We eventually were kicked out of the place where the party was, and were going to go back to the hotel. G had ordered two cabs to take us back, but on the way to the party I was crammed in the back of a cab with two fairly obese women and one of their husbands. I don't like sitting on the laps of people I don't know. X offered to drive me to the party, and Fur and Kelly wanted to come with us too.

This, for some reason, set G off. When we got to the hotel she was being a pissy bitch. That made me mad because I totally re-arranged my schedule to go to her party. It's not like it's easy for me to make plans where I have to travel given my job. Then I found out she was pissed because I spent the whole night talking to X. I was like whatever. She's married, but had hooked up with X a few times while in college. Some how that meant that I wasn't even allowed to have a conversation with him.

So I hung out with G's husband on the balcony smoking, and then went inside to talk to Fur. We were sitting on the bed taking pictures of ourselves making faces. Fur was pretending to grab my tits. X came over and sat down next to us. Then G came over and literally sat almost on top of me to create a barrier between me and X. It was pretty awkward since G's husband was there too.

So X and I decided to leave. I gave G a hug good bye and she hissed in my ear "I can't BELIEVE you're leaving with him!" as if, by walking out the door with a guy, it should be assumed I was going to have sex with him. She then followed us to the elevator, stalking along behind us like some psycho girlfriend.

I called her the next day and she said she couldn't talk to me and that she was mad. I was like whatever. What kind of insane person acts like that? And it's not like she's in high school. She's in her thirties.

I am so annoyed I'm not going to call or email her. And the worst part is, she's mad at me for something I didn't do. So not only did I not get laid on Saturday, but I also now have a friend pissed off at me for no reason.

Women are fucking bitches. That is my last female friend I will ever have.