Alex, the Spiderman Mango

Tonight I had a great climbing session with Dr. S and his climbing partner Alex. I was kind of tired when I got to the gym (too many pushups yesterday) and was thinking to just have an easy night but then I ended up, at Dr. S's insistence, leading a few things, including a 5.9, which is my hardest lead of the new year.

Alex says the most hilarious stuff. My favorite was when Dr. S was saying to him, regarding better foot work, "it's kind of like fruits and vegetables", meaning to make an analogy that you don't want to eat them but they're good for you. Alex mis-heard and thought Dr. S said "You're kind of like fruits and vegetables". He then pondered what he would be if he were that. He finally decided he would be a cabbage. Then he said "I would be a cabbage, but I would pretend I was a beautiful mango, hanging on a tree in Spain. When the other cabbages would talk to me I would only answer them in Spanish."

And I thought I was the only one who said things like that.

I also taught Alex how to tie a bowline (told him my snake story) and how to master the figure 8 (I explained how it's the strangle and punch knot). While Dr. S was climbing I earnestly tried to explain to Alex strategies for improving his foot work, as he has a lot of the same habits I had before Gadg coached me. He said "Currently, my strategy for becoming a better climber is to get bitten by a radio active spider. But, that hasn't happened yet." He also said he wouldn't wear the spiderman costume while climbing because he thought it looked girly, prompting Dr. S to make fun of Alex's shoes, which he called "foppy european", because he knows Alex is sensitive about those things.

We also talked about Wallace and Gromit since Alex is a London transplant with two kids. He said one day at his daughter's preschool there was a fire drill. When the alarm went off the teacher asked if anyone knew what the alarm meant. Alex's daughter responded "someone stole a diamond!" You have to see Wallace and Gromit's 3 great adventures to understand why that's really funny.

Hanging out with a englishman is great because they say the damndest things. Dr. S was lowering me off a climb and I almost ended up on top of some guy's head because of where the anchor was on the climb. I apologized to the guy as he stood below me, saying to him "Sorry I'm almost landing on your head", to which he responded "No worries. There's a great view from down here." When I got on the floor Alex looked at me and said "Cheeky bastard". I found that amusing.

Alex's wife is living in Boston, but he's going to get her to move here. I was giving him some tips on how to pursuade her to move. He also, when I asked what he did, said he was hired as a drinking partner. It turns out he's really a doctor. He explained to me how snake muscles work, which might come in handy next time one tries to bite me.