stirring up the kids

I got to hang out last saturday evening with my sister's kids.

Here are some of the reasons why it may or may not be advisable to let me hang out with your kids.

First, we decided to play a game we invented called "farts domino". It's like regular dominoes, but my nephew farts on a random, unselected domino so my niece can't pick it if she has to go dig for dominoes.

Second, my sister yelled at me for saying "that's so gay" around her kids (for the record, I am in the habit of saying that because my gay friends say it). So I said "We were actually talking about Greg Lougaines". My niece is a fan of his because she's a swimmer.

This resulted in me filling out all the gift cards for my niece's presents "With Love, From Greg".

I also enlisted the kids in helping me with multiple manual labor projects around my parents' house. But I think they learned a lot about floor tile and cleaning so I don't feel too bad about that.

My final really bad thing I did was at dinner. I was doing my usual idiot act (my mom asked my nephew how he liked middle school and I followed up with a question about how he liked middle earth). Then my sister told a story about how their dog ate their gingerbread house and gingerbread train. I said "oh well, I guess you'll only have a ginger poop house this year" at which point my brother Steve started laughing hysterically which made me laugh and the kids laugh, and that joke wound up somewhere around the Egyptians and the great pyramid of poop at which point my mom took my dinner plate and asked me, in a rather menacing tone, if I was going to have a piece of pumpkin pie.

Perhaps it's funnier if you were there.