Chapter 15: The Croco-diamond Performs His Experiment

The giant man saw the ticky-tap-tap of the Italianis parked in the drive way of the farm. He worried. And when he saw the Italianis in the courtyard, chopping termaters with a large knife, he worried more.

The kangawrong, terrified at the sight of the Italianis with a large knife, felt its ears crinkle down the sides of its head. It rolled up the passenger window and ducked down onto the seat so none outside the ticky-tap-tap could see it.

“Ah good sir, so kind of you to join us at the farm! Sorry to keep you waiting. I trust you’ve brought everything for the plan?” said the croco-diamond, kalumping out of the hammock in the bed of the ticky-tap-tap.

“Eetsa all-a here!” said the Italianis, pointing with the large knife first to the chopped termaters and then to some green herbs.

“Then it’s time for the experiment.”

“Hold on a second,” said the giant man. “What experiment?”

“I have been doing some studies on curative foods for allergies. I stumbled upon a plantae, in the family lampshade, latin name SolanYum LycoParis. Some think it a fruit, and some a vegeta-”

“But what experiment?”

“An experiment to attempt to cure me of my cringle sensitivity using termaters, which have medicinal powers. And to try a new recipe of my own making. Now, where is my dear one to fetch me a cringle crisp?”

All turned towards the ticky-tap-tap and saw the tips of the kangawrong’s furry ears just visible at the bottom of the passenger window.

“Come out dear one! I have a surprise for you!”

The tips of the ears shook back and forth nononono.

“He’s afraid of the Italianis,” said the giant man.

“He won’t hurt you. Put down the knife,” said the croco-diamond to the Italianis. And then to the kangawrong, “In fact, the Italianis wants to apologize for yelling at you.”

“But-ah, it murshed-ah my-ah termaters!” said the Italianis.

“You, dear sir, must learn to forgive and forget. Especially as we are now business partners. And here, as promised, is my investment in the business.”

The croco-diamond handed the Italiani his d.Dornian ruby that had been given to him by a real King, the King having given the croco-diamond the ruby so he would leave the King’s kingdom. And though it was a constant reminder to the croco-diamond that sometimes his lectures and speeches irritated people to the point where they sent him away forever, he had never given a jewel to anyone before. It was a momentous occasion.

The giant man looked surprised.

And more surprised when the Italiani said, “You want-a me-ah to apologize-a to the biggie feetsie one?”

And the croco-diamond said, “Yes. Come, I’ll show you how it’s done. Dear one?” The croco-diamond walked up to the passenger window. “May I speak to you for a moment?”

The passenger window rolled down. Then the kangawrong’s ears popped up and pointed toward the croco-diamond.

“Can I see your face?”

The kangawrong raised its head so that just its eyes showed above the door.

“I am sorry.”

Ploink ploink went the eyes.

The croco-diamond turned toward the Italianis. “I will demonstrate again how to apologize.”

He turned to the giant man, bowed his head, and said, “I am sorry.”

#

The croco-diamond sat the kitchen table. Before him was a plate of cringle crisps covered with chopped termaters and herbs. All stood behind him nervously. The croco-diamond put the cringle crisp and termater mix in his mouth.

Crunch. Crunch.

“I...I...” The croco-diamond covered his face with his front feet. Everyone was silent. He removed his front feet from his face.

“I am cured!”

All clapped.

“And! I’ve invented a marvelous new topping! Which we will sell with the cringle crisps! We will sell lots! So the giant man will never worry about losing his farm again! And the new topping will also make money to pay back the Italianis for the murshed termaters!”

At that the kangawrong blushed but could not resist a fancy hop. However, it checked first that it wasn’t going to land on anything.

“Why, this is wonderful! This is the most wonderful thing in all of the worlds!” The giant man beamed at the croco-diamond.

“But there’s one more thing,” said the croco-diamond. He produced, from under the table, the new packaging that would soon contain the best and most crunchy snack in all of the worlds.

The kangawrong looked at the box, and its eyes went plink plink poink.

For there, on the front of the box, was a picture drawn by the croco-diamond and not too badly of the kangawrong. The lettering on the box said “Kanga Crisps.”

Beside the box, the croco-diamond placed a glass jar. On the front was a picture he had drawn of himself in a white chef’s hat, holding a spatula. All murmured their admiration of the glass jar which would soon contain the new topping.

“But what will you call the topping?” asked the giant man.

“I think I will call it...” The croco-diamond paused dramatically, and then said -

 “Salsa!”  

And the giant man laughed and the kangawrong clapped.

Because it was the silliest thing they had ever heard.