opera Denver style

Last night my italian friend took me to see Don Giovanni. The opera got great reviews and I hadn't been to the opera house before so I was really excited.

My friend has abnormally long legs so he got us seats in the back because they have more leg room (it's where they put wheelchairs and stuff).

While the position of the seats was good, the seats themselves were broken. The seat part wouldn't lower down so my ass was semi squished between the seat and the seat back. Also, my feet couldn't touch the ground (considering I have a 33 inch inseam that's saying a lot). My friend started laughing because I looked stupid and then he sat down and his seat had the same fucking problem (though he could put his feet on the ground). I started laughing hysterically and couldn't stop (perhaps this was in part because we drank a bottle of wine before the show).

Then the opera started and our translators didn't work (the translator is mounted on the back of the seat in front). That made me laugh (silently) even harder. The woman sitting next to me was drinking nyquil out of a bottle and coughing. The guy sitting next to my Italian friend was wearing a "JC Penney's dress shirt" which he found "distasteful and horrible" so he was trying to not touch the dude's shirt.

My Italian friend was quietly trying to translate what was going on (I'm italian too but only know bad words) but obviously he couldn't explain everything. Towards the end of the first act he just said "it's almost intermission".

As soon as the lights went up the nyquil woman tried to get out of her seat but was having a hard time (she was not thin and her seat was broken too, just not as bad as mine). I started laughing again and couldn't stop. I also had to pee so we ran across the street to The Office and then my friend decided maybe he shouldn't take me back for the second act since I couldn't stop laughing.

Instead we walked home in the rain. It was fun.