a blond and an engineer discuss a fruit bowl

Last weekend I helped my dad move from a 3 bedroom house to a one bedroom condo. Well, I showed up for the unpacking part. My dad had been left to his own devices to put his stuff in boxes.

My dad has never had to pack or unpack a house even though we used to move a lot. My mom always did it. But since she broke her arm she stayed in Williamsburg and I went to Cincy to help my dad.

I almost had heart failure when I walked into his place and saw wall to wall boxes. There's no way all this shit is going to fit in here I thought to myself. Also, I only had 24 hours to get everything unpacked, and had to unpack enough stuff to make a place to sleep for myself.

I managed to get a shit ton of stuff unpacked, despite my dad's packing. He, for example, packed canned goods and socks all in one box. Then, I came across a big wad of packing paper with a bunch of tape around it in a box that contained tools like wrenches and screw drivers. What the fuck is this going to be I wondered. The last wad of packing paper I had found contained all my dad's silverware (which I dumped all over the floor cutting it open).

I carefully cut into the wad and found a fruit bowl with the fruit still in it. I couldn't believe my dad would pack fruit in a cardboard box. Oh wait, I did believe it.

I went into his bedroom where he was trying to find sheets for the bed. I was like "dad, what the fuck is this?" and he said "it's a fruit bowl". I was like "I know it's a fruit bowl, but what the fuck were you thinking packing the fruit like this?" He looked puzzled and said "well, I thought it was a good way to pack it".  I ripped open the paper some more and said "next time, don't put fruit in a box!"

I went back out into the living room and took the rest of the paper off. Hm, I thought, maybe my dad was right. The fruit was in good shape, with no bruises. So I yelled back to my dad "Hey, I guess I was wrong! This fruit didn't even get bruised!" I started thinking I would use that trick next time I have to move. My dad stuck his head out of his bedroom. "Um, you realize that is not real fruit, don't you?" he asked.

It was indeed plastic fruit. How embarrassing. "You really are a blond" my dad said before retreating back into the bedroom.