fake labels

Today we had our second writing workshop. We had it in this cool house that was moved from somewhere in Banff up to the Banff Centre. There's no alcohol allowed in the house and our editors strongly emphasized this.

So, I went out and bought a bottle of red and white (the discussions are always more fun when alcohol is involved) and created two fake labels for the wine. The first one, for the red, had a picture of a cheesy little girl angel and said this:

Absolutely Not Alcoholic Juice Stuff

Nope, no alcohol in here. It’s just purple liquid made from grapes with antioxidants that’s really good for you. We would never break the rules.

For the white bottle, I made a label that had a picture of a little girl in goggles swimming under water next to a white whale. That one said:

Great White Whale Solution

No whales were harmed in the making of this non-alcoholic drink that has no alcohol in it. In fact, it’s alcohol free!

The problem is, no one realized it was a joke. They all thought I had brought non-alcoholic wine to the work shop. I finally had to point out that the labels were taped on the bottle with packing tape. Then everyone was like "oh, ha ha ha".

I won't go into the assassin jokes around the table because I killed three flies during the workshop. Ha ha ha.