timing is everything, and nothing

Today I had a meeting with the new base commander to brief him on some potential new projects. I wore pants today instead of making him look at my knees again. I got to the briefing room 30 minutes before I had to start to make sure the room was set up and the AV was working. My colleague N did everything because I think he was afraid I would screw something up.

Then, right before the briefing was supposed to start, these cleaners came in and started cleaning everything. I was like WTF? I guess the commander wanted everything spit shined before showing up. The program manager and Dr. T showed up 15 minutes late. I was in a panic by then, but they were like "the customer is always late so we didn't rush". I was told that you usually have to wait for 2 hours after the scheduled meeting to have a meeting. Sometimes you have to wait all day, and then the customer decides not to see you after all. I told Dr. T I had read in my customs and etiquette book that it is considered very impolite to show up late for anything, and he said "Yes, it's impolite for YOU to show up late."

Meanwhile, we had a moment of panic because the cleaning people had dis-engaged one of the wires going to the computer, and we couldn't get the presentation up. We ended up crawling around in a rat's nest of wires until N found the one that was disconnected. The general finally showed up only an hour late (I was told that was "a good sign"). He made a joke that "Obviously arabs could not have been behind 911. We are late for everything and would have missed our flights." I can see his point even after living here for less than one month.

The presentation went well, and we'll see what happens next. In the mean time, hopefully my company is working on my residence visa, and I'm going to renew my tourist visa for another 30 days so I don't have to take vacation during Eid. Eid is like Christmas, except it lasts 5 days, and only little kids are supposed to get gifts. There is a second Eid later this year, but that's more of a feast than a gift giving thing.

The Christmas Eid happens at the end of ramadan, and the dates are not known until the imams all agree they've seen the new moon. It's kind of weird. Everybody is on a different schedule for all these religious things. For example, Dubai breaks their evening fast 4 minutes sooner than Abu Dhabi. In Pakistan, they start ramadan two days later than everyone else (to start ramadan, as with the ending, all the imams have to agree they've seen the new moon - apparently pakistan always "sees" the new moon later than everyone else - when I ask a pakistani why that was, he said "it's because they are fools").

So, basically there's a 5 day holiday, but you can't really schedule travel, because the day the holiday starts might change if no one can see the new moon, like if it's cloudy. As some people at work explained this to me I was like dudes, they have lunar calendars that will tell you when the new moon is - why exactly do you have to see it? They looked at me as if I had suggested we sing the dreidl song. I was also told that anyway, Eid is the worst time to travel (imagine christmas and thanksgiving in the US happening at the same time) because muslims are supposed to spend the time with their family. In fact, any family.

One of the other consultants was telling me he is going to Pakistan for Eid to celebrate with distant relatives he's never even met before because his immediate family is in UK and he just got back from visiting them and doesn’t want to fly there again with his young son. When I asked why he didn’t just stay here and celebrate with just his wife and son he said “You can’t do that. That’s not the way Eid works for real muslims. Only muslims that are not serious would do such a thing.”

And, in the car on the way home, I mentioned to N that I was surprised the commander told that 911 joke. He started in on a tirade about how Osama bin Laden is not a real person, that there is no proof he ever existed, and that the US government made him up to make muslims into "bad guys". I decided to just keep my mouth shut because I was too tired to have a debate.

I may get the hang of this culture eventually, but I doubt it.