Weird Things I've Eaten in the Past 60 Days

This year I resolved to be a less picky eater. Okay, that's a lie. But I have been peer pressured into eating some strange things this year (not stranger than rat spaghetti, so don't worry if you are eating lasagna right now).

First up, I ate frog legs. To be honest it was only one leg, and it was pretty small. I pretended like I ate two and conned this Texan that I work with into eating my other leg by telling him he mis-counted how many legs he had eaten. The leg was okay but it was tiny. I was expecting something more along the lines of a small chicken but it was like a chopstick with some bread glued to it. And garlic. Immediately after eating the leg I started to break out in a rash. Luckily my compatriots JJ and Kyle didn't notice the rash as we wound up the evening at a bar called new york new york that gave us a bottle of wine to leave their premise so they could close (it was 4 in the morning but I thought NYC is the city that never sleeps).

I recently also had chicken fried steak. Someone from Texas told me about it. I thought, when I first saw it on a menu, that it was like a turducken or something. I was wondering how they got a whole steak inside a chicken. It turns out it is really just a piece of steak that they try to make you think is chicken by breading it and then frying it. To ensure secrecy they cover it in this white stuff that I will just call "scary sauce" because fuck knows what was in it. I scraped off the sauce before eating my CFS, so it's possible I didn't get a "true" experience with the CFS. I would compare CFS to wonder bread, if there were such a thing as wonder bread steak. About an hour after I ate it I felt as though the little bread crumb things stuck on the steak were scraping along the inside of my stomach. And people wonder why I don't usually eat meat...

The final weird thing I've eaten is spare ribs. Full disclosure, I guess I should say spare rib because I only ate one of those bone stick things. When I saw what a spare rib grouping looked like I was thinking "hell no" but then all those movies about Compton have families having barbecues and they seem so happy even though they are in Compton so I decided to eat one because the parties in the movies always have spare rib things. I burned my fingers peeling the stuff that you are supposed to eat off the bone thing because I refuse to put some poor cow's rib cage in my mouth.
This is progress as I used to not be able to eat meat on the bone because my imagination is way too vivid. Just looking at a chicken leg makes me think of some chicken sitting in one of those stinky houses with its beak cut off because it was trying to peck out some other chicken's eyes. Gross. The blame for my meat phobia totally lays at the feet of one Frank K. who gave me a book to read about the Greeley slaughter houses.

Well, actually, I was a vegetarian before then, but I was just thinking I haven't blamed anything on Frank in a while...and, he is the guy that gave me Cryptonomicon...but I bet he isn't even reading this. It's Frank's fault.