New Computer Status Choices

I hope someone reading this has contacts at Microsoft. Ever since Dell "upgraded" my "operating system" to Windows Vista, I've been coming up with new computer status options (accessed when you go to, for example, log off):

-Instead of just sleeping, how about sleeping with the fishes, for when my bastard machine refuses to boot up and then I open it up and touch the mother board without grounding myself and of course I'm standing on a shag wool carpet wearing a fleece. Bye bye mother board. I never learn my lesson...
-Instead of just hibernating, how about hibernating for the winter. I have had luck leaving a computer off for a couple of months, and then turning it on and discovering it works again.
-Defenestrate - or is throwing Windows out the window redundant?
-Recrash - for when you want to reboot but you know the bastard is going to just crash again, so why not just say recrash instead of leading us down the hopeful path that some day the computer might reboot.
-Sleeping but possessed - For some reason the blue power button on my new computer starts flashing randomly in the middle of the night.
It wakes me up and makes me think of Poltergeist the movie. Does anyone know where I can get some virtual holy water, or maybe I should burn some sage in the DVD drive...
-Sleeping with nightmares - sometimes when I put my computer to sleep it seems to wake up, but then when I try to do something with it, it slips back to sleep. Strange.