tread desk!

This weekend I bought a treadmill. I've wanted one since I was 12, and yeah, it DID take a long time to buy one.

FH managed to carry it into the house from his truck even though it weighs 215 lbs. And he got it put together in 15 minutes. I had one part to put on and I accidentally cross threaded the screw. Hope I'm not losing my skills.

One of the reasons I wanted a treadmill is so I can walk while I work. Most of the time I'm focusing on very technical shit and I found it helps to walk while thinking.

I figured if I walk at a 20 minute mile pace (not unreasonable) I can walk 24 miles a day. FH first reaction was "maybe walk at a 30 minute mile pace until you get the hang of it" and "why the fuck would you want to walk 24 miles a day?"

Um, doesn't everyone want to walk 24 miles a day?

In any case, after the treadmill was set up he found an old board in the garage that we were going to use for target practice and some screws and brackets. We used that to make my treadmill desk (a colleague paid $1,500 for his desk - mine was free). It's held on by a bungee cord, which doesn't sound stable but turns out to be quite stable.

The drink holders are perfect for all of my work things and help keep my desk clutter free.

i love my new desk!

and even though I only walked on the treadmill for 4 hours today (following FH's advice to start slowly) I still got my 20K fitbit badge - actually did 23,000 steps today - and I got a helicopter badge, what ever the fuck that is

The other thing FH did was create a spreadsheet to help a friend of his calculate how to jump his rzr. Personally, I think his friend should just ask for help building a tread desk...

chihuahua olympics - the lamby

Yesterday the lamby event kicked off in the chihuahua olympics.

Mr. Nuts started out looking rough in practice. The US was worried he might not be able to come through and medal.

"I just felt really distracted and not focused," he said. "All I could think about was bacon."

But he came through in the competition and easily took gold.

Congratulations Mr. Nuts for winning gold in lamby!

olympic sports I'd like to see

I have been slacking off on my blog lately, but I assure you it's because I'm busy. In the next few days I'm going to upload some vids of skiing taken with the gopro (unfortunately my best wreck was not caught on film).

In the mean time, and in the spirit of the olympics, here are some new sports that I thought up that might be more interesting than some of the sports they currently have:

• Hockey, except the puck is actually a rabid chihuahua and the sticks are made out of beggin strips
• Figure skating, but with pumpkin seeds on the ice and the Russian mafia holding a member of your family who will be tortured if you fall
• Ski slope, but instead of fake jumps and rails you have to navigate around and jump over homeless people
• Skeleton, but you have to drink 3 shots of russian vodka first, and your helmet is made out of peeps and your sled is recycled cardboard
• Speed skating, but combined with ice fishing on a pond that doesn't have smooth ice and the crappies are jumping out of the holes
• Half pipe, but besides tricks you have to avoid the drones that your competitors are controlling
• Super G, but instead of gates you have to ski through a tunnel of live wires the whole way down
• Baby sitting a drunk Bode Miller while also having to listen to his wife Morgan give him advice

Go athletes!

super bowl sweep

Sunday was my first ever "I'm actually watching it" football game super bowl. I was pretty excited because the broncos were playing. I even know the names of three guys who play on the team: Wes, Peyton, and Demaryius. Peyton throws the ball and the other two guys catch it.

I thought a great way to prep for the super bowl would be to vacuum and clean the floors. FH did some prep too. He has this special tv thing that lets you rewind the tv. He normally sets that up, somehow, so when we watch football we can fast forward over the commercials (and I've learned to ignore spoiler texts from my dad, who is also watching the game, because we're a few minutes behind on the live play).

Unfortunately FH's chihuahua stepped on the remote control for the tv right before the game started and changed the channel. That caused the tv to not be able to rewind because...if you switch the channel...the tv doesn't remember the old stuff on the original channel...or something. I think time travel is easier in theory to understand than tvs. At least now I know when my brother calls he isn't hacking the super bowl.

I was told at work on Monday morning that I picked the worst super bowl ever to watch. Oh well. I still like the broncos and I'm glad there wasn't a blizzard because I definitely wouldn't have been able to see/understand what was going on. Which, given the outcome of the game, doesn't seem like a bad thing actually.

At the end the announcer guy was like "and the seattle seahawks are receiving the Lombardi trophy". I was like "so they also won something else besides the super bowl?" and FH was like "no, you win the Lombardi trophy for winning the super bowl". I found that interesting because 1) it's not called the super bowl trophy so how would the average person know that the winning team isn't getting yet another award and 2) all anyone ever talks about are super bowl rings and no one was given those at least while we were watching on tv. Maybe they get them later at a dinner party or something.

I was pretty sad about the broncos losing which is weird. They're just a football team. When I told FH I was sad he said "congrats, you're a real fan now."

I was glad to see a sign on a local business when we were headed to the grocery yesterday that said "we still love you broncos!"

the evil pound cake

On Saturday, while waiting to pick FH up at the airport, I decided to make a lemon cream cheese pound cake. I saw a special on PBS with Martha Stewart and she made 3 different pound cakes in 10 minutes. Seemed easy.

I made the mistake of not reading the whole recipe before starting. It did seem like a lot of ingredients for something that had to fit into a bread tin, but I've never made a cake before so I just went with it. Then I realized, once I had everything ready to mix, that the recipe made 9 cups of batter and the pound cake only required 5 cups. I said "fuck the math" and decided to just split the 9 cups between two pound cakes. That might be what caused part of the problem...

wine was not one of the "official" ingredients

Note, I used a butter made of yogurt to grease the bread tins. The flour didn't stick to it very well. I should have used real butter. That might have also added to the disaster unfolding.

I couldn't get the tops smooth like Martha did. The top looked like it had some kind of skin disease.

 It said to cook the cake for 65 minutes or until a toothpick came out clean. This resulted in overcooking (later found out I was supposed to reduce certain ingredients and add other ingredients for cooking at altitude).

When I finally pulled the pound cakes out they looked great. For about 2 seconds. Then the top of the cakes suddenly sunk like the fucking Titanic.

They have a very distinctive V shaped top. Like V for "victory" or V like that show about aliens. The cake on the left sank dramatically, the one on the right took a few more seconds.

One of the contributing factors to the cake sinking might have been the temperature of the house. The battery had died in FH's thermostat and it was only 62 degrees inside the house.

Surprisingly, especially since the middle of the cake was undercooked (FH called it "moist", but really it was undercooked) and based on its weight (FH said he was surprised to find it weighed more than a brick of gold) it tasted pretty good. FH brought one of the cakes into work, where I assumed it would be thrown out after a reasonable amount of time had passed. But I got an email from one of his employees saying that the cake was "so good it's evil". Special thanks to WL who brought me vanilla extract from Mexico!

FH said maybe don't ever make a pound cake again...

BTW, Jake got his new eyes installed by FH on Sunday. Hooray!

I make a crappy cake for him and he fixes my car - no one said partnerships were equal

party wave videos

Here are the two party wave videos (where I crash right after I stand up on the board):

 

 In this vid I crash moments after take off.

In this vid I crash and my board tombstones

I'm not a role model, so probably shouldn't be a mentor either

FH has an assistant who also does technical work. I offered to mentor her by teaching her data modeling and process modeling. FH thought it was a great idea.

But, to be honest, the only useful mentoring advice I've given her is the following:

T: Went roller skating today. Bad idea, my knees hurt so bad.
Me: Try bio freeze. It's like crack cocaine for the knees.

As for career advice, probably not as useful:

T: FH gave me my own office!
Me: I'd recommend putting crime scene tape around your guest chair to keep the guys in line. I did that at my last office. HR drew the line at the fake blood though.
T: Maybe I can get some fake organs.
Me: They used to sell eye balls at the dollar store.

And she gave me some advice as well:

Me: Don't tell FH this. I just took his toilet apart. Replacing the innards to make it more efficient. Hope I don't fuck it up.
T: I have faith in you! Girls can do home improvement too!
Me: I'm using a hack saw now, which was not specified in the instructions. Oy vey.
T: That's just improvisation. If you have more screws left over than when you start then worry.
Me: Or when FH gets home and there's a taken apart toilet on his kitchen table.
T: I would come help before that point.
Me: It works! Go me! And go broncos! (was sort of watching the game while I was working)
T: Did you have any parts left over?
Me: Some screws. But I think they are just extras.
T: Uh oh. I won't tell if you don't.

(then I made a joke about a super bowl party since I was working on the toilet but there was no response)

some more pics surfing the party wave

Here's a pic from a video where I caught the same wave as FH. Of course, he surfed it in and I wrecked.

I surf goofy foot. Also, on most waves I managed to keep a safe distance from FH.

when the board shoots straight out of the water it's called tombstoning the board

the surf board fins are supposed to be IN the water

Two of my favorite still shots from the vid where I wreck into FH:

FH's board (left arrow) and my board (right arrow)

FH calmly surfs on while I flounder behind him

We saw three snowflake eels the past few days in the low tide. The marine biologist Tony said they're coming in because the water is unseasonably warm. Very cool!

damn women drivers

Today conditions were rough at Olas Altas. And then I accidentally wrecked my surf board into FH's board. I didn't just ding his board. I rode up the back of it.

When we got back to shore the "life guard" Mario was like "dude, is your board okay?" and I was like "yeah, fucking women drivers". The board, for the record, is more or less okay (minor repairs necessary).

seven feet, rocks

Yesterday Olas Altas was big, almost as big as during May's storms.

The waves were big and fast. It took forever to get out to the line up. At one point I just let go of the board and dragged it behind me by the leash.

FH and I caught a wave and I fell off almost immediately, which sucked because it took me 10 minutes to get back to the line up. On the second wave I was determined NOT to fall no matter what. I paddled my ass off and suddenly was in the slot. I got up on the board and had one of the longest rides I've had. Then the wave crashed on my head. Miraculously I didn't get washing machined or hit by the board.

When I got back to the line up FH said "I can't believe you caught that." It turns out it was a 7 foot wave. FH was paddling into it (I followed, figuring he knew better than me which waves to catch) when he realized I was also paddling in and he stopped because he thought I was going to get munched by the wave and potentially injured. He said he saw me get into the slot and then was shocked that I was standing up. He saw the top of my head for a second and then saw the wave come up over my head. I'm not sure how I caught the wave but I was glad because the rest of the morning was a shit show.

The next wave I tried to catch closed out. I got washing machined by three waves. Right as I thought I was getting close to shore and out of the shit I put my feet down and realized I had drifted into an area that FH told me to avoid because it's full of rocks. And the rocks are covered in sea urchins. If you avoid getting scraped up by the rocks you'll get stung by the urchins.

the rocky area I was caught in at low tide - normally the rocks are under the water

 I managed to get out of the rocky area after a few minutes of struggle. Then I decided it was time to go in. Meanwhile, in the line up, FH had been looking for me. Because I was getting washing machined he couldn't see me at all. I think he was pretty glad to see me stumble up on the beach.

Also, there are locals that watch surfers from the sea wall (far left in the above picture). I'm not positive about this, but suspect they called an ambulance when they saw me getting washing machined in the rocks. As I was trying to make my way back to the beach I saw the ambulance pull up with its lights on. After I got back to the beach it left.

I talked to a marine biologist Tony, who is also a surfer. He said what happened (and it's very common even for people who surf there every day) is the rip tide pulled me into the rocks. As I was surfing I thought I was surfing to the right but the tide was pulling me left. You can't really tell on the wave.

As celebration for surfing my first big wave we went out for drinks at the freeman. Nice views from the roof.

sunset from roof of the freeman - rocky area of olas altas at the bottom left

El Faro - light house is far right - it's one of the highest lighthouse in the world - we hike up it in the early morning as a warm up for surfing

sunset - the large stone island at the far left of the picture is host to seals, and of course sharks

moon over the historic district of mazatlan - FH's house is near the blue building in the center of the picture

mexican food

Not quite the same as in the US...

At playa norte today, best fish ceviche, although today we found a piece of octopus in it (which I'm allergic to). No bad reaction so far.

home made tortilla chips...porque no?

And a big shout out to Taqueria Playa Sur. Best vampiros ever (here vampiros are like a taco pizza - I didn't find any english web pages with Maz style vampiros). And papa locas (again, english recipe, not quite the same).

Taqueria Playa Sur is an outside restaurant. This is the grill. We got there before closing. Normally there's a long wait if you go during dinner hours.

Vampiros (on the left) and papa locas (front). Yum.

ejection seat

FH commented, after looking at over 20 vids of me trying to surf, that I never fall off the board like a normal person. He said "it looks like the surf board has an ejection seat".

He's surfed this brown board for over 7 years and never flown off of it like I do. I'm sure no one who knows me will be shocked by that.

barrel roll

Since I've been surfing with the big brown board I have to be careful when I fall off (which is 9 out of 10 times I try to stand up) because I don't want to get hit in the face with the board.

This ride, I started to pearl, but the wave was slow so I hung onto the board and tried to keep it from pearling. I later found out from FH that you can't save yourself when you're pearling. In any case, as I held onto the board it flipped over. I managed to get it upright by the time I stopped. The board did hit me in the arm above the elbow and I have a nice bruise from it.

It was worth the bruise!

how to miss a wave

Learning to read the ocean, and know when a surfable wave is coming, is a lot harder than I thought.

This vid is called where did the waves go?

This vid is called what happened to the wave????

pearled

When you weight the surf board too far forward you pearl, which means the surf board heads straight for the ocean floor. This video gives a good idea of what that experience is like.

and no vacation is complete without a trip to home depot

The water was a lot calmer the second day we were here than it was the last time in Maz though the first day the waves were pretty big and sounded like buildings falling down every time they crashed into the shore. I did go out the first day but after watching the good surfers eat shit I was surprised I got up on the board at all. After getting banged around for an hour I decided to rest. Good thing, because the next day (day this pic was taken) conditions were perfect.

Rare to get beginner waves at Olas Altas but we got them. Also, the water is unseasonably warm. We saw one jelly fish. There are a lot of sting rays on the ocean floor though so have to watch out for those. I stepped on two today, and though neither stung me one mouthed my foot. Good thing I haven't washed it lately. The ray spit it out. The waves should be getting bigger next week (3 - 6 foot waves as opposed to 1 - 3 foot waves). Hopefully I'll continue to do okay on the bigger waves.

One of the hazards of surfing (especially jumping on the board as opposed to sitting on the board) is banged up knees. This is after the first day of surfing. They've turned a nice purple color now.

The bike shop off Olas Altas. FH and I rented bikes for two hours to go to Home Depot. The hurricane down here did some damage to his house including the roof, causing a lot of water damage. I spent a day scrubbing mold off the walls and cleaning the floors. Fun to take a bike ride through traffic and tourists except that my bike chain kept falling off. Luckily FH knows how to fix anything.

Home Depot at Mazatlan. Same as the one in Denver but more mexican.

At the far left of this picture is FH's friend Willy, who takes care of shit while FH is back in the US. He is a member of a band and they were playing at the closing of this bar (owners spent too much time smoking pot and drinking to run the bar according to local gossip). The band was good but FH and I have been getting up at 630 every morning since the dudes come around 8 to work on the roof so around midnight we decided to head home.

second surf videos

This was my best ride into the beach (had to bail off the board before I hit the sand and ruined the board).

And this video shows why you should manage your surf leash (I managed to get tangled in mine more than once).

first maz surfing video

Huge thanks to FH for teaching me how to surf!!! He's the best instructor ever!!!

This is my last run I did yesterday while he was out in the water coaching me.

I'll be posting more videos shortly. I have some great wipe outs. And thanks again to my mom for the gopro!!!!

some pics from maz, since my video doesn't seem to want to load

Apparently I've overloaded the "internets" in Mex. Here are some pics from surfing today.

Is it beer 30 yet?

Making a fashion statement on the beach with my Ugg slippers, for which I've caught endless shit from the surfer boys. And I have the requisite coke and e-cig (breakfast of champions - kidding kids, don't fake smoke).

Took the brown board out today because the waves were pretty small and this thing is like a canoe. You don't even have to stand on the string, apparently, to surf. It weighs as much as I do. Glad it didn't hit me in the head.

"Now that I've gotten my ass kicked, time to go in"

Still shot, wipe out, from the gopro. You can't even see the board.

maz redux

I've been in Mazatlan since Sunday and we just got internet access today. Hooray!

Will be posting some funny surfing vids in a day or so I took courtesy of the gopro my mom bought me.