a film critic's reaction to the Oscars

NOTE: the author of this post did not watch the Oscars, has not seen any of the movies nominated, and is channeling a chihuahua.

A review of the Oscar winning films by Mr. Nuts.

film critic, lamb lover, and chihuahua

Dallas Buyer's Club: "I would have thought this movie worthy of an Oscar if it was about buying bacon. Otherwise I'm not sure why anyone would want to see this film."

Twelve Years a Slave: "I was hoping to see more cat chases by chihuahuas. And then after the chihuahuas catch the cats, they also catch some squirrels. And then they are fed steak and bacon. For those reasons I found the movie not very believable or reflective of real life and didn't really enjoy it so was shocked it won an Oscar."

Blue Jasmine: "Were those ladies carrying bacon around in their purses? If so, I liked it. If not, I didn't like it."

Frozen: "This movie made me sad because it made me think of frozen bacon, which is difficult (but not impossible) to eat."

Gravity: "Why would anyone want to go into outer space? There's no bacon."

20 Feet from Stardom: "I think this movie would have won more awards if it had been about being 20 feet from bacon."

...and the rumors are true! Mr. Nuts was asked to host next year's Oscars. Unfortunately, he won't be able to because he'll be busy eating bacon.