it turns out it wasn't about farts

On the 4th of July a friend of mine, who (obviously) has kids sent me an email and all it contained was this:

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=W_WtTAQf-9Y&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DW_WtTAQf-9Y

So I watched the link, which is for a cartoon about 
these things called octonauts that go around exploring 
shit under the ocean. 

I sent the following response, a commentary as I watched the cartoon:

Part of me has a hard time getting past the fact that these dudes look like fucked up Japanese sex toys.

Have to admit I'm totally trashed. 4th of July, lots of fireworks.

How weird that they make the what ever whale things speak with a texan accent. People always fucking copy me and end up famous*.

Is that a fucking rabbit in an air breather? I like the dude with the eye patch and the russian narwhale dudes. Seven minutes in. Someone better fart and make me laugh.

Cool. There's an autistic dude, wonder if he's an aspie...

K, there's weird vegetables talking and a dude that looks like an amputee. Or maybe I'm drunker than I thought.

Haha, pseudo orcas to save the day. Why are those fucking vegetables sitting on top of him? Oh, they're bow head whales, those pseudo orcas. What ever. They look like orcas. I kind of like orcas even though they kill great whites.

Probably not sober enough to email. Or watch cartoons. So please ignore this. There was some factual truth in the cookie cutter shark cartoon. Will have to investigate this thing about narwhales or how ever the fuck you spell (dear yahoo, stop underlining my shit in red when it's mis-spelled because it's fucking annoying - is this a feature I turned on? fuck me) it getting trapped in ice later. Too drunk to sit upright on my exercise ball so it's hard to type and do a google search. Thanks for sharing.

Happy fucking 4th of July! Think I need another drink. Cheers and gunpowder!

Aforementioned friend never responded to my email, so I thought, hm, maybe don't email that friend while drunk anymore. Then today I got this:

I wouldn't know what a fucked up Japanese sex toy looked like but am impressed you do. I sent it to you because of the whales talking Texan, thought you might enjoy. 

Hope you blew some shit up for the 4th!

For the record, I know what the toys look like because I saw them in a movie. I like subtitles because it's like reading a book but with pictures. And someone did fart in the cartoon, though it was toward the end.

I guess I should stop assuming everyone is as obsessed with farts as I am.

Though, haha, forgot to mention in my post about my aunt and uncle, that at one point at dinner I said "this isn't like a REAL family dinner because no one has mentioned farts or poop". Minutes later their neighbor sent an email of their dog pooping in his (the neighbor's) yard and then we started talking about farts. It was nice for things to be normal.

*in my children's book the great white sharks, aka the whitey biteys, speak with a texan accent