will steal for back splash

Christine continues to be a bad influence...

My contractor Neal recommended I work with a woman he knows to pick out a back splash. She was mean to me, made some suggestions that I thought sucked, and only showed me samples from some collection that was so crap she kept it under the counter. Now, I'm not spending a million dollars on my back splash but for fuck's sake...surely something on the wall was in my price range...

So I contacted Christine and she took me to her people (she also gets a 40% discount with them). We spent an hour looking at stuff and then she got them to give me two samples. Supposedly my counter tops are going in on Wednesday (Christine pulled some strings there too - normally it takes two weeks from templating to get the counter top installed) so I should be able to pick out the back splash by the end of this week.

She also just sent me some pictures of back splashes with comments:

Haha. Stealing my back splash might mean one thing in my kitchen was on budget. Unless I get arrested, like my dad.

Wah. I love it and I'm sure I can't afford it. Rats!

Got to keep Neal happy...

In other news, Pascal told me he laughs every time I send him an email about my back splash because in UK back splash means piss that splashes back on you when using the urinal. That's why they say splash back instead.

randomness not so random

I was logging on to my VPN today with my securID and this happened:

I've also been keeping a log of the numbers when I log in and have noticed what seems to be an excessive amount of the number sequence "234". Which makes me wonder about randomness of my securID.

Why am I tracking the numbers when I log in, you may ask, and then analyzing them. Because I have fucking asperger's. That's what we do.

fancy faucet

My fancy bathroom faucet came today...

And each piece was enclosed in a sack. Like when you buy expensive shoes.

It's even cooler looking in real life.

kitchen, painted

Today the guy came to do the templating for my granite counter tops. It was kind of weird. He put thick paper strips down on the counters and then glued it together to make a sort of paper frame. It seemed kind of low tech.

Christine and Neal also laughed about my painting issues. I'm going to try to get them fixed by Wednesday, which means tuesday night is painting night...ech...

Here's what the kitchen looks like painted.

You can see where the paint color changes. Ech.

home depot and lowes - paint idiots

I knew I was going to have to repaint parts of my kitchen so I went to Lowe's and got some paint since they are the only place that carries Ralph Lauren paint (I thought). My whole house practically is painted with Ralph Lauren cream stone.

Well, the dude at Lowe's gave me a paint called cream stone, but it was their line of paint, not ralph lauren (they don't carry RL anymore). Their cream stone is greenish, but I didn't notice at first when I was painting.

I know it doesn't look like a big difference, until you get it on the wall. The RL is on the left, Lowe's paint on the right and on the mix stick.

I got all of the ceiling painted, and then most of the walls, and ran out of paint around 6 PM last night. I went to home depot and wasted 20 minutes waiting for a guy to mix my paint (think he was spending more time sniffing it than mixing it). Got home and realized...it was the right color, but it wasn't the color I had painted the rest of the kitchen.

Fucking fuck. I was NOT about to repaint the kitchen.

So I went back to home depot this morning (I know, I'm stupid, should have gone to Lowe's), got some paint, finished painting while talking to my dad on the phone...and then realized the new paint didn't match the old paint. At first I thought it was because the new paint was wet. But no, it's because it doesn't match.

Grr.

And of course I did touch ups on every wall with the non-matching paint.

So I guess I'm going to Lowe's tomorrow. Unless I perish from paint fumes in the mean time...

have cabinets, will...put stuff in them

Neal got most of the cabinets and the island built this week. The upper right brown cabinet was damaged so I have to wait until next week to have them all in. Progress!

Came home thursday night...kitchen progress! Should throw some wine in that wine rack.

The island with the pantry in the background.

This window is finally unblocked! Think the round shelves look great (my idea to put them there, of course).

It's going to be a great party space. Too bad most of my friends live really far away.

Friday Neal informs me I need to get the whole ceiling and kitchen painted. By tomorrow. Ech.

The island. The dishwasher is going where that hole is.

FINALLY! A closed pantry.

It totally opens the downstairs.

my floors!

Meant to put these up earlier...because I'm doing some work myself to save money on my renovation I've been super busy...

Before - ugly stairs

After - shiny!

Before: floor in living room

After

Before - kitchen floor

After

zombie and lego man

On Wednesday night I had a nightmare that the fake serial murderer consultant I work with had turned into a zombie. His eyes were robotic looking with red half moons under them the color of blood. His arms had been replaced with really long dish washing gloves.

And somehow he managed to turn the project manager into a lego man. I was panicking about the PM being made of legos so I started building a spreadsheet figuring I could put some formulas in it that would turn the PM back into a person. The consultant-turned-zombie kept slapping my arms with his dishwasher glove arms trying to make me mess up as I was typing.

I had just gotten the last formula in the spreadsheet and was about to turn the PM back into a person when the consultant threw up on my head. The vomit hardened and I couldn't move. I woke up in a panic.

So, Thursday, I got an email from the consultant asking me if I wanted to take charge of some shit job. I was in an all day class so I responded...

Me:

I'm in class all day and will have to deal with this tomorrow. Also, I had a nightmare last night that we were in an IT meeting and you threw up on my head.

Consultant:

Hmm… how should I interpret that…? 

…I’m causing extra work for you by asking the wrong questions…

…you don’t think I can take my beer…

?

 

Me:

You were a zombie and had turned [the PM] into legos. I was trying to turn him back to human using a spreadsheet and you were trying to stop me by covering me in slime vomit.

Consultant:
Hmm more connections… I was in a mall at the weekend and spent too long in the Lego store wondering if I was too old to start buying it again…

I am so psychic.
 

snake redux

Back in March I sent an email to a snake expert who had a cool snake trap on his web site (as well as a picture of a snake pooping):

Me:
> I am terrified of snakes but am trying to get over my phobia by learning
> more about them. I really liked your web site! There was a lot of useful
> information. And that yellow snake trap is very cool. Though, I live in the
> city and don't have a use for one.
>
> Snake poop pictures were gross but at the same time it was interesting to
> see how a snake poops.
>
> I did have a quick question, if you have time. I live in Denver and spend a
> lot of time outdoors in an area that has a lot of rattle snakes (Roxborough
> State Park). One day I was walking on a narrow trail that had a lot of brush
> on either side of it. I heard a rattle, panicked, and ran (my friend, who
> was walking behind me, swears it was a rattle snake). If that happens again
> should I not run? In elementary school I remember reading a story about
> snakes that said you should stand still until the snake leaves. But if
> you're afraid of snakes that's kind of hard to do.
>
> Stay safe with those snakes!

He finally responded back to me today:
 >Yeah, don't run.  But you can walk away.

Not hugely helpful. But at least he didn't offer to introduce me to a live snake.

terrorists of stupid - TSA

I was almost kicked out of the denver airport today for arguing with a tsa agent. Why, you might ask.

She said I couldn't bring a container of salt-baking soda (for my neti pot) in my carry on because it was over 3 ounces (actually, I think the container is 3 ounces but it isn't marked with the volume and apparently they can't eyeball a container and guess how many ounces it is).

She then said salt is classified as a "cream" when I pointed out to her that the container was not full of liquid or a gel.

?????????????????

For real. Guess they don't give IQ tests to those dudes before they hire them. I kept asking her to open the container to see that it was just salt and baking soda but she refused to open it and then yelled at me when I tried to open it. I explained that I fly through Denver almost EVERY FUCKING WEEK with the container and she said "this rule has been in place for a long time, they were mistaken to let you take it through". I pointed out to her colleagues, who joined in the fray, that if they just listened to the announcement that was playing they would see there was nothing about limits on the amount of salt, just liquids and gels.

I finally talked to a manager I've met before after dealing with 4 other tsa idiots and she let me keep my salt. But not before the tsa agent tested EVERYTHING in my backpack with those bomb swabs. It took an additional 10 minutes to do that and god knows how much tax payer money since she used 10, yes, 10 swabs. She even swabbed my Harper's magazine and a paperback book. Of course, she missed the 3 ounce tube of toothpaste I hadn't taken out of my back pack before it went through the x-ray.

Ech.

hi ho turkey, away!

My mom bought this thing because apparently you can carry a turkey around in it.

It looks like a turkey saddle.

You can buy all kinds of weird things for the kitchen apparently.

for real????????

lake

My mom and I took the paddle boat out on the lake. My mom kept waving to cars passing by at the far end of the lake, which was really funny. A woman on a bike said "that looks like more fun than I'm having".

True. Though, I had a 7 PM meeting so no wine this time...

pics of the climber dudes

Christine sent this!

Can't wait until Neal gets them installed on the cabinets!

coolest bathroom faucet ever...or maybe I've lost my mind

I just found this (Neal was right - I can't pick out faucets or sinks from Home Depot).

It's either really cool...or really fucking not.

project updates

My little climber dudes arrive on Friday!

And I got the Vetrazzo slab! Which cost more than my whole budget for the bathroom. Oh well. Go big or go home.

I'm currently in Williamsburg hanging out with my mom and working. It's a lot more relaxing here than at home.

It's warm enough to work out on the back porch.

Gazebo for drinking wine.

broken bottle bathroom

I'm not entirely positive I'm going to go with this, but I'm pretty sure this is the counter top I'm going to put in the bathroom:




It's the Vetrazzo counter top that I wanted for my kitchen, except that it costs A LOT and I couldn't afford it. It's made from recycled granite and recycled bottles. I'll decide next week if I'm going to do it. Because, surprise, it's more than I budgeted.

But I feel I should get it because wine and beer bottles are an essential part of my house.

wall, y'all

Lots of progress was made in my kitchen today! And we passed the electrical, plumbing, and drywall inspection!

Finally, a wall! And no more cold drafts coming from under the window!

This hole was patched up too.

The floor holes are gone!

Um, not sure what's up with this. It's like an alien creature is coming out of the electrical panel.

Close up of the floor.

I was wondering what that hole in my exterior wall was for...

Neal did get the hole he drilled through my wall patched up quickly.

This is what it looks like from the outside.

Will be nice to have a REAL vent in my kitchen. Like for the times I accidentally cook mac and cheese in the microwave for 15 minutes instead of 1.5 minutes on accident.

Looks good! I was worried but I think this "beam enhancement" will be pretty cool! Though, guess who gets to paint the ceiling. Again.

I've decided Christine is a bad influence on me

My kitchen designer Christine took me to a granite remnant place today to pick out a remnant for my bathroom cabinet. Since I've blown my budget in the kitchen I wanted to try to stay on budget for my bathroom.

Alas.

Well, we'll see how the pricing comes back...

I loved this slab but Christine was like "I can see you at 1 o'clock in the morning cleaning all those holes with a toothbrush." Hm. She knows me too well.

Interesting pink river stone slab. It's the lowest ranked slab on my list, but still kind of cool.

Christine and I both loved this slab. I think my dad will like it too. He likes rocks.

Christine insisted we get a price on this even though I know it's out of my budget (a slab of this costs $20,000). I told her any granite named after an artist (this is DaVinci) is way too expensive for me.

I just took a picture of this because it looks like there are exploding penii in the middle of it.

I REALLY loved this slab but it's unfortunately too small.

While this looks kind of meh it's a granite that has been treated to give it a leather like feel. It looks much cooler in real life.

more holes...in the floor

I don't know why, but I'm kind of freaked out that my plumber Joseph drilled holes in my floor today. I guess it's like the "no turning back" point for my kitchen.

And he and Neal keep asking me questions like "which side of the sink do you want the garbage disposal to be on?" and "how many light switches do you want on this wall?"

Ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know!!!! Left! No, right! Did you interpret that as my left or your left since we're standing on opposite sides of my fake island which is really just a picture Neal drew on the floor???????

To make matters even more interesting, some teenage boys have been hanging around. Neal keeps going out to his truck because he's afraid they're trying to steal his tools. This afternoon I was on a conference call and happened to look out my upstairs window. One of the kids was standing on my front porch with his hand on my safety door. He was making hand signals at someone I couldn't see. So I went down, yanked open the inside door, tried to dramatically yank open the safety door (it was locked, thank you Joseph!) and yelled at the kid "what are you doing on my front porch?!?"

He looked shocked, then said he was waiting for a friend. I was like "wait somewhere ELSE". He left and didn't come back. But I was talking to my neighbor later in the afternoon and he saw the kids coming out of a house three houses down from our building (known drug dealer but the cops haven't done anything about him yet). I called our local cop and hopefully they will step up drive bys.

Usually I have no worries because I park in my garage, but I can't park there until the cabinets are installed. Luckily after this week Jake will be at the airport. They have really good security there. And I took the precaution of removing everything from my car just in case it gets broken into.

dust bowl

Today Neal made more holes in my kitchen. I had a HGTV moment when we realized that he can't run the exhaust for the stove up through my room because the pipe would be 6 inches away from the brick wall. I was like holy fuck that's going to look like a stripper pole in my bedroom.

So then he thought he would run it across the ceiling. Not entirely crazy about the idea but what's a girl to do. He called a guy who's apparently going to cut a hole through the outside brick of my house. The idea terrifies me but...we'll see...I'm sure the guy cuts lots of holes through people's brick walls.

Meh.

Another hole. With yellow wires sticking out.

They built the soffit today. Of course my ceiling isn't plumb. Ech.

Neal cut this hole to see if he could run the exhaust for the stove above the ceiling. No dice. They did something fucky with the support beams and he can't cut through them. So the pipe will have to run under the beam seen at the top right edge of this picture. I hope it doesn't look insane.

They pulled out the bathroom vanity today too. Forgot I have to buy a sink and faucet. I'm just going to start referring to my remodel budget as my remodel "budget".

Electrical panel. It looks like an evil doomsday device.