Chapter 4: In Two Strange Events Things Appear and Things Disappear

Soon they arrived home and the kangawrong stepped out of the ticky-tap-tap with a PLOINK and a BOINK. The croco-diamond decided it needed a bath immediately so as to make the kangawrong look very nice since the croco-diamond liked all things to look nice.

And, more importantly, so it would not touch with dirty hands the future cringle crisps that would be made the next day, which would be twice as many as had ever been made. The croco-diamond could eat a lot of cringle crisps if they were made by hands that were clean.

The giant man lifted the kangawrong into the kitchen sink and the croco-diamond gave it a thorough scrub. Its soft brown fur lost tangles and mats as the croco-diamond gently washed it.

With a pile of soap bubbles on its head between its drooping wet ears it looked especially cute so the croco-diamond was moved to sing the kangawrong a song:

Oh cringle crisp, oh cringle crisp

You are so very munchy!

Oh cringle crisp, oh cringle crisp

For dinner and for lunchy!

I could eat a bunchy!

Because they are so crunchy!

#

At bedtime the croco-diamond climbed into the hammock with Animale Disparatus: A Field Guide to the Marsupal Oops, which he had found in the giant man’s library. The kangawrong curled up underneath the hammock, its head resting on its enormous tail.

It didn’t stir the whole night though the croco-diamond snored –

BZZZ ZZZZ HUCH ZZZZ

#

The next morning all awoke to find something strange had happened.

First, the old apron of the giant man (which was replaced recently with a new apron) had been made into gloves. The gloves, all agreed, fit the croco-diamond perfectly. He was immensely pleased and ticked his nails in a clicky clap of happiness.

Second, a discarded sun shade stored in the giant man’s closet for years had been transformed into a pair of umbrell-ears. The umbrell-ears fitted on the giant man’s head and would protect him from exposure to the sun.

Lastly, a felt table cloth that had dust on its unopened packaging had been fashioned into a fedora that could be worn by the kangawrong. It had been designed for its oversized ears. The fedora looked quite jaunty and stylish even the croco-diamond admired the kangawrong’s appearance.

But, none knew from where the gifts had come. It was, as said before, very strange.

Donning their new items, they set out to the field after a breakfast of bakey cakeys. The croco-diamond began to fill a basket with cringle roots and to instruct the kangawrong on the fine art of picking.

However, there was a problem.

The kangawrong’s arms were too short. It couldn’t bend down past its little belly to reach the earth. Its fingers went wriggle wriggle but it couldn’t grab a cringle root.

“This - this is a cringle catastrophe!” cried the croco-diamond. And in an aside to the giant man: “If it can’t do work - perhaps - we have to - eat it.”

At this the kangawrong’s overly large ears pricked up with a toink and a boink. The croco-diamond possibly did not know that kangawrongs have a highly developed sense of hearing.

“We are NOT going to eat the kangawrong,” the giant man said. “I think instead it will be perfect at peeling the cringle roots. And I will do the baking.”

At this, quietly inside his head, the croco-diamond now thought crunchy cringle crummies. Cringly crispy yummy. His mouth watered and his teeth felt happier than they had ever been.

So the day went on, the croco-diamond feverishly picking and the giant man cooking with assistance from the kangawrong. The smell of freshly made cringle crisps drying in the sun carried out to the field on a mild wind and made the croco-diamond delirious with joy and anticipation for the end of his work when he could have a snack.

That makes what happened next another strange thing.

When the croco-diamond returned from the field, delicately removing his gloves and placing them neatly next to his hammock, and polishing quickly his jeweled spine before entering the house for dinner, he found…

Mostly empty cringle crisp baskets.

And a very puzzled giant man.

And a very protective kangawrong.

It hopped in place near the remaining full baskets, fists cocked as if to punch something. Occasionally it would stop hopping to stretch out one enormous foot and squish a curious buggally coming too close to the baskets.

“I don’t know what happened,” said the giant man. “I came out to get the baskets and more than half were empty. They were stolen. I put the kangawrong on guard to protect what’s left.”

That made the kangawrong do a few extra high hop hops. It was very proud to be a guard. The empty baskets still lay overturned near the full ones. They had been emptied even of crumbs.

“It is quite odd. Maybe the oddest thing in all of the worlds. Who would steal the cringle crisps?”

The giant man looked at the croco-diamond. “Honestly, I can’t imagine who.”

The croco-diamond lowered his snout towards the earth, deep in thought.

“Then the question should perhaps be what. What could steal the cringle crisps?” The croco-diamond pondered for a moment. “A bird-o-walrus? Swarming beezles?”

The giant man shook his head.

“A - a teradactalsaurus?”

“I believe those have been extinct. For quite a long time.”

The croco-diamond looked up at the sky, searching intently for the culprit.

“There is only one answer then. Yes, the only answer possible.”

The croco-diamond gathered himself up on his hind legs, clasped his hands in front of his belly, and looked at the giant man with such conviction as can only come from knowing an answer is the truth.

“It must have been… the clouds.”

“Clouds.”

“Yes. I believe so.” The croco-diamond began to pace back and forth, a look of serious concern on his face. “We need to prepare. There will surely be some odd precipitation later in the evening. When, ahem, the crisps have been - digested.”

And the croco-diamond did prepare, and prepared the kangawrong, by insisting they eat their before bedtime snack of cringle crisps under the hammock, protected from odd precipitation. And where the giant man could not see what they were doing.

“My dear, dear creature,” said the croco-diamond, patting the kangawrong’s head and then smoothing down its recently cleaned and shiny ears so that they turned inside out and flopped down, “I would hate for anything to happen to you. You are the most beloved thing to me in all of the worlds.”

The kangawrong’s eyes went wink wink and its little muzzle twitched. It looked adoringly at the croco-diamond.

“Which is why I must tell you something Very important.”

At this the kangawrong’s ears shot up with a poink and the plate of cringle crisps clutched in its too short arms rattled against its chest.

“You are aware, of course, about the matter regarding your stomach?”

The kangawrong, now a bit frightened, shook its head. Its ears went flap flap.

“I have studied, as you may be aware, the stomachs of many species, as I find them interesting.” He tapped the field guide he had been reading, Animale Disparatus: A Field Guide to the Marsupal Oops.

“You are from the family Marsup Awry, genus Marsupal Oops, also, in other regions, called a jack-a-miss and boom-a-whups, first believed to have come into existence as the Phalangeri Doh!, from which you evolved, during the mid-MioceNeu period. Other members of your family include the Eastern Goof, the Askew-lopine, the Red Unright…”

The droning voice of the croco-diamond made the kangawrong very sleepy. Its eyelids went plonk plonk and its little muzzle drooped downward. The croco-diamond whispered “I’ll just help you with these” and took the plate of cringle crisps from the kangawrong.

“You see, your species has chambers, chambers in the stomach, which means big stomach aches if you eat something that disagrees with you,” continued the croco-diamond in an even more quiet, more boring tone.

The kangawrong slumped into a curl next to him so the croco-diamond could more easily scratch its back. With his back foot the croco-diamond carefully pulled the plate of cringle crisps away from the about-to-be-asleep kangawrong.

“And so you see, though you have wide molars, quite nice molars, that can chop and grind, chop, grind…”

Suh. Shuh. The kangawrong was almost asleep.

“I’m just not sure, given your origins, genus, family, appearance and existence based on this period of history, the chambers, the chambers of your stomach, I just can’t be sure…”

Tock. The kangawrong’s eyes fell shut.

“…that cringle crisps are right for you.”

And though some may have thought it awful and selfish and greedy, the croco-diamond had to eat the kangawrong’s cringle crisps just to make sure it didn’t get a multi-chambered stomach ache which is even worse than a normal stomach ache, due to there being more stomachs.

So he ate them. Very quietly.