dad is okay

So my dad had surgery today to remove a kidney, part of his bladder, and some other stuff. His cancer was contained and he is going to be okay.


And he's planning on coming out to Colorado to go hiking with me this summer. Rock on dad.

some sad news about my dad

Well, I'll just share the email my mom sent...

"On Friday, my husband Bob was diagnosed with cancer.  Fortunately, even though it was diagnosed as "aggressive", the Doctor believes that it is fully curable by surgery.  On this coming Thursday, May 26, he will be operated on.  His right Kidney, urethra (sp?) and a piece of his bladder where the urethra is connected will be removed.  The doctor is very optimistic for his full recovery, but needless to say, this is going to be a big trauma for Bob to get through."

Hoping for the best for my dad...today he went for a 40 mile bike ride, and yesterday he did the Indian Staircase in Red River Gorge. So I think he's ready for what ever cancer is going to throw at him, and he's still doing what he loves...

that's not supposed to be there

The growth of bone on the side of my knee - jesus, how did I not notice that????

My neighbor Carol came over after my doctor's appointment on Friday. I was pretty upset but she made a lot of good points about how this is just one more thing I have to work through. I'm trying to look on the positive side of things. Like, now I have a good ending for my book. Zombie knee replaced by metal parts. I wonder if they could make me a mechanical knee recycled out of coke cans. I'm guessing you don't get to choose a color, but I'd like a pink mechanical knee. I don't care if I can't see it. I'll know it's pink and that would make me feel better.

Should have done research on mechanical knees today. Instead I tried to find some work clothes. I hate shopping. I didn't buy anything. Then I went for a walk which, these days, is getting hard to do. It feels like the top part of my leg is completely detached from the bottom part, and that I have a fracture running down the lateral side of my right shin. I got some topical analgesics at the pharmacy (and an unloader brace). The first one I tried, arthritis arrest, not only smelled hideous (baby powder - I don't know why but I HATE that smell, especially when guys smell like it) but it also burned my skin - not to be totally negative, it did reduce the swelling a lot. But I could barely sleep last night because the skin on my knee felt like it was on fire. I tried to wash it off but I guess that shit soaked into my skin. Now I'm using arnicare gel. It doesn't smell and doesn't burn my skin. It's helping a little bit, or maybe that's wishful thinking on my part.

I did find a cool Kate Spade cover for the Kindle my parents bought me but I haven't ordered it yet. I downloaded some books but haven't practiced reading them yet. Still trying to get used to the idea of a Kindle...

Off to Vegas for two days, then Virginia for Wednesday - Friday. I am a little stressed out right now about my leg collapsing while I'm at a customer site. Well, I can only do what I can do and the bad shit will just make a funny story later.

MIA meniscus

I'm having one of those "are you fucking kidding me???????????" moments...

So I went to see the knee doc today. It was almost the reverse of what happened to me 12 years ago. When I went in for that knee problem the x-ray showed a huge hole where my lateral femur knuckle should have been.

This time, the x-ray showed a distended lateral femur knuckle bumping up against my tib/fib. The doc said the bone plug had bone growth which has slowly distorted my knee/femur. I asked where my cadaver meniscus might be (since there was no light of day between my femur and my tib/fib) and she said she didn't know. I asked if it might have dissolved over time or something, but she said that wasn't possible.

So, looks like my only option to be able to keep walking is to get a knee replacement. Bye bye zombie knee, hello metal fucked up robot knee. Ugh. I can't believe I'm so old that I can even get a mechanical knee.

Anyway, I go see a doctor on 16 June who is the doc for the Denver Nuggets. Maybe he'll have something better than the doc I saw today.

Robot knee = no climbing, running, skiing

I can bike and swim...which means, since I live out of a hotel, I do...what...for exercise. Maybe I can get a fake tan and start doing zumba.

I guess I should be grateful my cadaver knee lasted as long as it did. Me and my fake body parts had a good run. 11 years, which is way longer than any doctor thought it would last.

Fuck fuck fuck. Stupid fucking knee.

do I look fat in this knee?

So annoying. My right knee blew up like a fucking parade float on Sunday. I can barely walk on it even today, after 2 days of rest and ice.

Going to see a doctor on Friday. It feels like the top part of my leg is completely disconnected from the bottom part of my leg. That's happened before, but normally it goes away in 24 hours...

some Paradox Rockx pics

Timmy O'Neill giving an attentive belay with Christa, Gabe, Faith, and Ethan (red jacket) in the background.

Christa's puppy curled up with her walking foot.

Tommy tries his backwards foot climbing strategy.

Tommy's prosthetic. I asked him if the hole was from getting shot at. It's not, it's from a rock.

Tommy's philosophy is that you can fix anything with duct tape. And that a betty boop sticker is the perfect adornment for a prosthetic.

The back of Tommy's leg. He wanted to make sure everyone saw the cool piston.

Chad Butrick, event organizer, climbing a route. Note that he has a sling going from his leg to his harness. That's because on a climb a few months ago, his leg fell off. With the sling he doesn't have to worry about losing it again.

Tommy and I in the parking lot next to the group camp site. You can tell he's a trouble maker.

Christa belaying Faith on a climb. She has the smallest feet ever (size 5 shoe) and has a specially designed prosthetic foot for climbing.

happy birthday Bob!

My brother Bob's birthday was on Sunday so I sent him some shirts from Banana Republic. I received this email from him on Sunday:

"I got the shirts you sent me.  Thanks!  I'll try to do something stupid while wearing each one and send you a photo."

I wonder if he's actually going to send me some photos...

"the first move off the deck is a heel hook"

I had the BEST time climbing with Paradox Sports this weekend! Pics and stories to follow, but now I have to take a shower and get some sleep (got maybe 8 hours of sleep total this weekend).

Movie of Tommy Carroll, retired US Army, climbing with a backward foot...I met a lot of people this weekend that were really inspiring and amazing athletes, including Tommy, who designs prosthetics and has a wicked sense of humor...

so stop making fun of my eating habits...

http://health.yahoo.net/experts/dayinhealth/new-eating-disorders-are-they-real

I can't help it if I'm a super taster, genetically superior to normal tasters...

"What is Adult Selective Eating? Like kids, adult picky eaters limit themselves to an extremely narrow range of foods. Unlike those who suffer from anorexia nervosa or bulimia, adult picky eaters are seemingly not worried about calorie counts or body image. But so far, researchers don’t know if adult picky eaters just haven’t outgrown childhood patterns or if their eating habits are a new twist on obsessive compulsive disorder. Some may be “supertasters,” with an abnormally acute sense of taste that turns them off certain foods. Many appear to have had unpleasant childhood associations with food."

So, fuck broccoli!

why I need a raise

So here I am in Hartford, CT, working with a client. I thought it was a nice city but my client told me it's dangerous. I agree with him after my GPS took me through a bunch of crack neighborhoods to get home. In fact, he told me not to drive down Albany St. under any circumstances, and where do you think the GPS told me to turn...I drove down the street, it was like scary Baltimore areas near the performing arts center.

So, I'm supposed to be teaching an advanced programming class, but half the students have never seen the tool I'm teaching on. Most people use it for at least 6 months before taking the advanced class. There is a secretary in the class who wants to be a programmer. I'm trying to support her but...for fuck's sake. No smoking is allowed anywhere on the customer site, which is huge, including outside, because it's a company in healthcare. I had to walk a half mile to smoke at lunch. By the time I got out of there at 6 today I had the shakes from no nicotine.

I'm also supposed to be sharing a client in the evening (what, me have a life when I could be working) with another consultant who is a lying sack of shit. I meet with him before customer meetings to decide who will do what and the agenda for the meeting. Then he goes off the rails and proposes crazy stuff to the customer. Today I got an irate call from the customer's secretary because I missed an 11 am conference call meeting that the other consultant set up but failed to attend. A few points on that:

1. the fuck nut consultant did not invite me to the meeting so I didn't know about it
2. the fuck nut consultant knows I'm working during the day somewhere else
3. the fuck nut consultant told my customer's secretary "I know I set up the meeting but Franki was supposed to handle it" so I would get the blame for him missing the meeting

Like, should I rip his balls off? I would, if I thought he had any.

Anyway, I get to do this all again tomorrow.

I need a raise.

all the bird houses

In case anyone actually cares, here are all the bird houses. My mom painted two - the one with the flowers and the one with the blue roof. I had to put them in my garage because it was raining and the waterproof coating I put on them wasn't dry.

rotation

So, I kept looking at Jesse's painting of the ice ax on Thursday night (http://blonstar40.blogspot.com/2011/04/new-painting.html). It didn't look right because the ax was on its side. So, I rotated the picture. I wonder if changing the direction of a picture pisses the artist off. I like the way it looks though.

bird houses

Today I finished painting the bird houses that I bought with my mom after my surgery.

 Lessons learned: it's more fun to paint them when my mom is here (tomorrow I'll post the ones we painted together). I called her while I was painting them and she said she wished we had done them together. The birds probably wish that too...

This is supposed to be a bird house for birds tripping on acid. I've never tripped on acid, but if I ever did, I would want to do it in a lavender and pink house.

This was supposed to be sort of a chinese bird house, for birds migrating from there. I was talking to my sister on the phone when I painted it. That's why I took the time to make shingles on it.

This was supposed to be sort of a Moroccan style bird house. I know, makes you wonder if craft stores should sell paints and unfinished bird houses to just anyone.

This was supposed to be a bird beach house. I can already hear my brother Steve making fun of it. Shut up Steve. Pretend it's a coal powered bird house.

new paintings

Just bought two paintings from Jesse Crock (www.jessecrockart.com).

 

I know, I need to re-install software to clean up my crackberry pictures...

BTW, I was cranking in the gym this week. Today I climbed a 10+ that I thought would be too hard and it was not easy, but not challenging either.

welcome to corporate hell

So, this is how my week has been going...

I finally heard back from the help desk TWO WEEKS after I submitted my trouble ticket because my laptop hit the deck. They sent me a bunch of links to "do it yourself to fix your problems" web sites. Of course, all the links were broken. Which doesn't matter because the problem is fixed...

I'm supposed to be learning new software that I can't install on my laptop because it requires Windows Server 2003. I spent all day yesterday downloading a VMWare image that may or may not have the tool I need installed on it - the tech notes were vague. I did have a log on to a demo server, but for some reason the server isn't working. I've sent three emails trying to get the problem fixed but, of course, have had no response...

I decided I would watch some recorded demos of the software since I can't actually play with it. The demos were recorded using software that requires a license to install it so you can watch the demos. The software is not on the list of free software my company provides. So I have to apply for approval to buy the software which I may or may not get. In the meantime, I can't watch the demos.

So I decided to do some prep work for an engagement I'm doing next week. I of course did not get approval to make travel arrangements until yesterday because who ever in my company had failed to contact the customer to make sure the statement of work was signed. So I ended up with a crap flight that cost a lot of money.

I have to teach a client how to build diagrams like the ones they were shown in the sales demo. The sales guy who did the demo sent me a ppt with the diagrams in it, but they were so minuscule I can't read what's on the diagrams. Then he sent me a file with the diagrams in it that I can't open because it was created using a different version of a database than I have on my laptop (and I can't get his version because it costs money). So finally I asked him to send me an XML version of the diagrams. Of course, no response...

And Monday some knuckle head fellow consultant arranged a 5 PM - 7 PM meeting with a client that is supposed to be my client. Aforementioned consultant apparently wants to keep the client for himself. I was supposed to do the call but the other consultant wouldn't stop talking long enough for me to get a word in edgewise even though we had a call before the call and had exchanged emails outlining how the call was going to go. The consultant brought up a bunch of stupid ideas for the client, so I'm actually glad I'm not working that account. The best part was when, 1 1/2 hours into the call, the consultant finally asked me to do a demo that I was supposed to do 15 minutes into the call. Five minutes before he asked me to do the demo my power went out. In the 6 years I've lived here the power has never gone out. So I couldn't do the demo. Ech.

Really, this is my life. Really.

extreme painting

view from the top of the ladder

I painted my skylight this weekend. It's 20 feet off the ground and I had a pretty shaky ladder. But the skylight looks great!

prickly pink

I've been in kind of a funk lately. So Sunday I decided to go buy some new cacti. Here are pictures of all of my cacti. I only came up with a name for one of the new ones...after my dead cat Prickly Pete, but the cactus is Prickly Pink.

Check out my Christmas cactus...thought it was supposed to only bloom at Christmas...maybe I should stop watering my plants with coffee.

These are all new cacti. Prickly Pink is to the right.

The cactus to the far left is new, replacing an old cactus that got a fungus and died.

just like triceratops

So, for those of you who haven't heard, it turns out triceratops isn't a real dinosaur. It's a teenage version of the torosaurus.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2011/04/14/135351303/the-triceratops-panic-why-does-science-keep-changing-its-mind?ps=cprs

I bring this up because it puts into context something that happened to me yesterday.

I got a panicked phone call from a friend of mine, we'll call her A. A had just found out through facebook that a couple we knew, that have been together since they were 13, broke up. Fucking facebook.

The news saddened me because the male participant in the now defunct relationship is a guy I have always idolized. I know it's stupid to do that to people, but he was one of those guys you couldn't help but idolize. He is handsome, funny, athletic, and intelligent. The couple had been through a lot and it was hard to believe, after everything, that they were breaking up.

It's hard to piece together what happened, but one thing was strange. The guy had a bunch of pictures of himself with another woman on his facebook page (note I am NOT on facebook because I think it's stupid, I logged on with A's account). The pictures were taken by the paparazzi. It appears he might have been involved with someone else while he was married and then got busted by a tabloid.

I don't know. I guess the guys who don't have affairs are non-existent or have a low level of testosterone. This guy just didn't seem like the type to do something like that. I always thought he would have more respect and trustworthiness to pull shit like that. He never seemed to be the kind of guy who would break a promise.

Sad days...first the dinosaurs aren't what we believe...now people are changing too...it's like nothing is what it appears to be...

And, oddly, I think I saw my ex from Maryland yesterday. Similar truck to what he used to drive, same ugly blue cloudveil shirt, gym sticker and gear stickers matched what he used to have on his truck back in the day...it was strange. I had just been to the UPS store to drop off my shit laptop (my new one arrived yesterday morning). I was waiting to turn onto Colorado when I noticed the gym sticker on the car in front of me. Then I tried to speed up to see who was driving but the person seemed to be speeding up and changing lanes to avoid me. The person tried to make a right turn right after I sped up behind him, and then cut over 4 lanes and made a left turn into a little fast food place.

I couldn't really see the driver. Probably it wasn't him. I'll be pissed if it was him because that means not only did the asspipe move to MY state but he's also in my neighborhood (the whole reason I moved from the east coast was so I would never have to see him again). But it could have been a coincidence about the truck and the shirt and the stickers. And, maybe that guy is writing on his blog right now how some psycho wearing a black baseball cap with a black car was following him for a quarter of a mile.

I am often mistaken for an undercover cop. Ha.

the secret of the universe...revealed here!

Still blaming paint fumes for my crazy dreams...I painted my kitchen yesterday....

Last night I had a dream that I was working in this building that looked like a school, except that it was an office. Everyone was running around like crazy but I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to be working on. In fact, my job there was so boring that I realized as I was walking down the hall that I had forgotten to go to work the day before.

I ended up walking into this women's lounge. There was a huge bathtub and two women were sitting on the edge of the bathtub holding a book that looked like the gutenberg bible with all these intricate drawings. They screamed when they saw me, and then an older, professor looking man with spectacles came out of a broom closet and said "oh god no!" I was like "what?" And he said "I can't tell you, it's classified". I was like "dude, I have a clearance."

So then he was like "great, you can help us with our project". I asked what the project was. He said "we've built the largest telescope in the world, and it's in the attic of this building". I was like really, how cool. He said "we are writing the story of the universe in this book (the gutenberg bible looking book) after we find the stories in the stars". So I said "it turns out I'm a writer too".

Everyone got excited and said they would take me to the telescope. I was excited too, though I pointed out they had put the secret entrance in the women's lounge, so it would look suspicious for men to go in there. The secret entrance was like a dumb waiter in the wall, but when I stepped into the dumb waiter it flipped around (like the handle of a mailbox) and dumped me into a tunnel, where I was vacuumed up into the attic.

The attic was a super technical operations center, and the telescope was huge and beautiful. I was really excited to use it. The professor guy said "Okay, when you look through the eye piece, you will see all the secrets of the universe, and then you will write them in this book".

I looked through the eye piece and saw....

Five white dots. Five fucking white dots. It was like the big dipper, but not even close to being as cool.

Everyone in the room started saying "isn't it so amazing?" I suddenly felt really depressed because I thought maybe I just couldn't see the secrets, or these people were so crazy they thought 5 dots were the universe.

Then I woke up.

hero orca

I found Patric's video interesting because last night I had a dream about sharks.

In the dream I was with my friend Brassy (JoJo) and we were driving through this beautiful gorge to get to my vacation home (which only exists in my dream, of course). I was telling Brassy how relaxing it would be at the home and how everything would be perfect there (Brassy and I have been having some bad attitude times lately).

There was a river running through the gorge, but it was like the ocean, and it was full of sharks, dolphins, and orcas. We stopped the car and watched them jumping out of the water. I was very happy.

But then this busload of teenage kids pulled up. All the kids got into the water with these hideous inflatable toys. I was so pissed because they were ruining the view. Then a bunch of the boys started picking up the sharks and punching them, or holding them out of the water so they couldn't breathe.

I started getting upset so Brassy yelled at the kids, but they were making fun of him. I said to Brassy "our beautiful vacation is ruined". But then a huge orca came out of the water. It's head filled the entire gorge. All the kids started screaming. I was like "good, the monster will eat everyone and then we can relax".

Then I woke up.

Note that my house has been filled with paint fumes for the past two days. No idea what this dream means...