gimps on rock - day 1

Finally finished my gimps on rock story.

6 May 2011, 7 PM

I drive down the dirt road that leads to the Sand Gulch camp at the Shelf Road climbing area looking for the Paradox Sports camp site. I’ll be spending the weekend climbing and hanging out with a bunch of athletes that wear prosthetics. I have no idea what to expect, and I don’t know anyone, so I approach the group cautiously. I don’t want to do or say anything stupid for at least the first five minutes of the weekend.

I walk over to the campsite fire pit and see a bunch of people sitting around drinking beer. The first person who talks to me is a guy named Rob. He says “You’re sneaky. We didn’t even hear you pull up.” I am surprised since I had, moments before, been blasting the Buena Vista Social Club. I am not sure what to do next, so I say “I’m here for the Paradox event. Is this the right place?” Laughter ensues from the group, and that’s when I notice that Rob is a double amputee. I feel like an idiot.

Chad comes over and saves me from further social embarrassment by introducing himself and welcoming me to the group. He’s the organizer for the event. Since the sun is going down and the first thing I’ve said was stupid, I decide to walk away from the group and put up my tent. Chad waves his hand around the campsite and says to pick any spot I like.

I find a place behind a tree and begin setting up my tent. The evening before I had taken it out of its sack and tried to set the poles up. I thought, at the time, that I was unsuccessful because I had had two glasses of wine. But now, with the wind picking up, I realize I’m just too uncoordinated to get the poles in the right holes.

My tent is flying around like a kite on the beach. I’m glad I’m behind a tree where no one can see me. I realize I’m going to have to ask for some help. I shove the tent in a bush so it won’t blow away and walk over to the group. “Are any of you experts at putting up a tent?” I ask. Everyone stares at me without saying a word. I imagine them wondering who invited the moron who can’t put up a tent even though she has two legs. Then Chad comes over and says he’ll help me. The two of us manage to get the tent poles in the right holes. I joke “it’s a two person tent because it takes two people to set it up” and Chad laughs. He’s probably being polite but it makes me feel better.

#

Chad and Timmy O’Neill make curry for dinner. It’s the last time that weekend that I get to use the fork I brought because it gets appropriated by the kitchen crew for food preparation. Unlike the rest of the group, who for the most part brought plastic camping utensils, I brought a real fork. I feel bad watching them work but Chad insists that he and Timmy will cook the food and do the clean up so we can all relax and enjoy ourselves.

Timmy is one of the founders of Paradox Sports, and possibly one of the funniest people on the planet. He’s also an amazing climber. I looked forward to his obnoxious comments as I attempt to climb something Saturday.

Chad builds a fire and we settle in around it. I sit on a bundle of wood because I don’t have a camp chair. Puppies and dogs wander the camp site. We’re just starting to talk about climbing plans when a crazy woman comes up to the site and says there’s a fire ban, and that if we don’t put out our fire immediately we’ll get a hundred dollar fine. We have a quick discussion about how we could split the cost of the fine between the 10 of us. Chad decides to be responsible and put the fire out: “It wouldn’t be good if it got in the news that Paradox set Shelf Road on fire”.

We’re all sad because the wind is picking up and the temperature is dropping. Christa, one of the Paradox athletes, suggests we put a lantern in the middle of the pit and pretend it’s a fire. Meanwhile Chad calls the sheriff’s department and finds out the woman is incorrect about the fire ban. Although there is a fire close by that they are monitoring we are allowed to build one as long as it’s in a ring.

In a few minutes we have a fire again and after discussing our climbing plans the conversation turns more personal. Most of the people in the group know each other so they talk about past Paradox events. I start talking to Rob about traveling in Greece and Turkey. Then Gabi, a ski instructor who works with amputees, joins in the conversation. He, like me, showed up alone and is a first time attendee of a Paradox event. He’s hoping to develop a relationship between his organization and Paradox.

Most of the group turns in early. A few of us stay up talking until midnight. I finally head to my tent and climb into my bag. It’s my first time sleeping alone in a tent and I can’t get warm. The wind blows the tent fly and it sounds like monster foot steps outside. I wonder if there are bears at Shelf and if bears are attracted to cans of Coke, since I’ve stashed one outside my tent fly. Further, I’ve accidentally set my tent up on a slope, and find myself waking up every few minutes because I’ve rolled off of my sleeping pad and into the side of the tent.

Around 3:30 in the morning I hear Chad talking in his sleep even though his tent is a fair distance from mine. He’s saying words, some real, some nonsensical: “apple” “four” “spoon”. I pull my bag around my face and try to sleep.

and that's why I ordered a new pair of hiking shoes!

I had my appointment today to see this uber knee doctor (he's the doc for the Denver Nuggets) about my knee. I have been dreading it since the prognosis looked like it was going to be surgery.

I immediately liked the doc (Dr. Crane) because he started talking about the stuxnet virus and asked if I knew who wrote it. He told me a story about a friend of his that, he said, "worked in black holes". So we talked about that for a few minutes.

Then he asked to see my knee. I was a little embarrassed because the skin from my ice burn was still peeling off. He looked at my shins, which are covered in scratches from when me and my brother cut down some trees last Friday. Then he looked at my foot, which has scars from my flip flops. He said "Hm."

Then he said "There are no good options for you." There's a new surgery where they cut off the entire top of the femur and replace it with cadaver bone. The failure rate is 70%. If it fails I'm stuck with a titanium rod in place of my knee. He could give me a mechanical knee, but he said "Let me give you a boy analogy on what would happen if I do that. It would be the equivalent of buying a brand new corvette with the best tires and giving it to an 18 year old. There's going to be a lot of smoke from the tires, and they aren't going to last long. Judging from the current shape of your leg and foot (pointing to all the scratches and scars) I'm going to guess you would trash a mechanical knee in a few years. Actually, you might be capable of trashing it in 3 months." He sounded kind of proud of me when he said that though it sounds insulting.

Instead he gave me a list of things to do to buy time for my leg. He said if I'll show a little more moderation and wear special inserts and shoes I could maybe keep my zombie knee for another 20 years (he said "the best footwear for you would be shoes made out of marshmallows" - hee). I'm not allowed to do lunges, squats, or wall sits anymore though (I was like "what about push ups?" and he said "those are fine" and I was like "damn" because I hate push ups). He's going to give me injections every 6 months to add some viscosity to my knee.

He checked out my knee movement and told me I'm getting knock kneed (attractive). So I have to keep a board and measure the distance my foot moves away from my other foot when my knees are together once a month. Eventually it will get so bad I have to have surgery because if I don't the medial ligament on the side of my knee will be ruined and it will make the knee replacement less successful. Basically, once my right leg is about 6 inches away from my left it's cutting time.

He wrote me a prescription for work saying I have to only wear running shoes (hooray!). I have to get inserts and an unloader brace. He said I'm lucky because most women can't wear the brace because their legs have too much fat on them (and he said I have attractive legs).

He weighed me so he could figure out how much glucosamine I need to take every day. Then he said "you are the first patient I've had that I've told to gain rather than lose weight". I haven't been eating much lately because of stress from everything going on. He said I should put on 5 pounds or 10 if I can.

On a final note I asked if I had done something wrong to make my knee go bad. He said he was surprised that it's lasted me as long as it has. Cadaver bone replacements are usually not successful. There was nothing I could have done to prevent what happened. I also told him how I told my other doctor that I was going to cut my leg off if they tried to give me a titanium rod and he shook my hand and said "you made the right decision, because if you had the rod in you would be in a much worse position now".

I'm allowed to hike, bike, climb, and ski. No more running though. I'm willing to give that up for 20 more years with my dead body parts.

And that's the more or less happy ending to the story.

see, I haven't changed much

I found these old pictures when I was at my parents' this past weekend...

Here I am at my first writing desk. The papers on the corner are a story I had just finished about a girl who ran away from home. I put my stuffed bear at the desk next to me. I'm playing with play doh making a frog. Note my science experiment in the window sill. And my horrible outfit...

This was my favorite birthday present. A pink rain coat with a matching hat and umbrella. I ruined the umbrella the first day I had it by trying to do a Mary Poppins imitation jumping out of the tree. I wore the hat and rain coat almost every day even if it wasn't raining. That's my sister standing next to me.

I love spaghetti. And no, I don't use my utensils properly.

Me with my two grandfathers and my brother Bob. I wore my ballet costume every day until it didn't fit anymore. Do I get style points for wearing socks with it...um, no.

My cooking skills haven't improved much since my first mud pie at age 5.

breaking news - broccoli worst food ever!!!!!

Okay, maybe not, but check this out. Is it worth it to be healthy if you're farting all the time? And how about the resulting "awkward beach photos".

#4: WORST SNACK
Broccoli with ranch dressing  (1 cup broccoli and 2 Tbsp dressing)
170 calories
14.5 g fat (2 g saturated)
370 mg sodium
Broccoli, like cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, and cabbage, falls into a class of produce known as cruciferous vegetables. These vegetables are among the most nutrient-dense foods on the planet, and as such, they should be consumed as often as possible. That said, you might want to hold off your day's broccoli until you're off the beach. Cruciferous vegetables contain a sugar called raffinose—the same sugar that gives beans their heavy-winded reputation. In your gut, raffinose is fermented by gas-producing bacteria, which can make you feel bloated and gassy. That's not necessarily unhealthy, but it might lead to some awkward beach photos. Instead, if you're picking beach-bound snacks, pair high-fiber tortilla chips with low-calorie salsa.

http://health.yahoo.net/experts/eatthis/5-worst-beach-body-foods

And for more, a friend sent me this which is an amusing song about farting, if there could be such a thing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7I9KzoJTrE

"I think I'm being watched"

The funniest thing just happened...

I was standing outside my hotel smoking a cigarette (sorry dad) and thinking about the plot line for this spoof movie I want to make with my brother to make fun of a movie a robotics guy my brother doesn't like just put out on YouTube. I was pacing back and forth when suddenly this couple came out of the hotel.

He was a good looking older guy with gray hair, obviously married, with a younger blond who definitely wasn't his wife. He was saying good bye to her and they were having an annoyingly stupid conversation and there was obviously something more than friendship going on between them. I looked up at them in the hopes they would shut up or go somewhere else when the guy started acting all paranoid. I paced away from them and then decided to check my work email.

When I looked up from my crackberry they were talking in whispers and looking at me. I thought maybe it was because I'm wearing the same clothes that I wore to weed my parents' yard last saturday (I didn't wash them and they are dirty). Then they started walking by me towards the parking lot in a hurried manner.

As the guy walked by me he said in a loud voice "I think we're being watched. I don't like being watched." Haha! Like I'm some under cover detective who gives a shit about his personal life. I started laughing so the woman turned around and looked at me.

To the blond having an affair with the idiot, trust me, I don't care what you do with your personal life. I think it's sad you're fucking a passive aggressive moron, but that's your business.

Maybe I should quit smoking...

I hope you aren't eating

Here's the blister on my knee.

I told you it was gross.

SIQ

I have a sikh in my training class this week. Today he told me I was a child prodigy. When I pointed out that I'm 41, so a little past childhood he thought for a minute and then said "Then I guess you are an idiot savant."

Um, okay.

He's very kind and brings me soya nuts, dried cranberries, carrots, cherries, and today guava fruit. It's his favorite fruit. He offered it to me so I took a piece and he said "you must take enough for both hands" so I had 3 more pieces.

He's bringing me flax seeds tomorrow for my arthritic knee, which you don't want to see. I burned it with ice on Friday night and it has a palm sized blister on it that leaks (my mom can confirm - leave a comment about disgusting it was when I kept showing it to you).

Sick.

The charming sikh is making up for the disaster my company made of this class. They sent laptops with passwords and didn't give me the passwords (good thing I'm psychic at guessing passwords). The training coordinator didn't set up the laptops in the class like she's supposed to so I had to do it myself (sort of a hardship since I had to pull them out of a packing crate that weighs more than me, and I can't really bend my right leg). Then I asked her for a class roster (can't bill a student for the class unless they sign in on the roster for some unknown reason) and she emailed it to me knowing I have no way to print it out. And even though I'm using my own company's facilities they charge me by the day $20 to use their shitty wireless internet. I can't bill the $20 charge because it isn't in the class contract so it's making training challenging because I can't show certain things.

I think the only way my company makes money is by charging itself for stupid shit.

If I could, I would be SIQ.

effervescent

Last night I had a dream that my friend Joe brought me to this old theater (like a theater you would see in a western town). When we got there he handed me a play bill. It had a burgundy border and there was a black and white old looking picture of our friend David in the lower right corner, then a woman standing behind David with her hand on his shoulder (her nails were painted burgundy and they were in color), a younger woman standing behind her with lilac nail polish (in color), and a guy standing behind her in the shadows. I was like "what is this?" and Joe said "David has written and will be starring in a play". When I tilted the play bill a cartoon bubble showed up coming out of David's mouth and he was saying "do you think you can last on our depression era savings?"

Then Joe put on a black toupee and we went into the theater. I was wearing a white turtleneck and a fancy Chanel jacket (actually it was the jacket to a gray suit I owned a long time ago). The play started but it was in black and white (the stage curtains were in color, burgundy). I couldn't really see what was going on or hear anything, except David, who was mumbling and talking with a really bad southern accent.

Then it was suddenly intermission and Joe and I went out to lobby of the theater and everyone was having red wine. I ordered an Izzi grapefruit juice. Everyone in the lobby seemed upset that I was not drinking wine. I said "Oh, sorry, I thought it was Ramadan". And a guy said "No, that was last month." Then he turned to the woman standing next to him and said "Is she for real?" in a really sarcastic way.

I was upset that David wrote and was starring in a play without telling me so I decided I was going to rewrite a new slogan to get people to drink coffee. I came up with some great ideas and wrote them down on these little slips of white paper. But as soon as I tried to pick up the paper it dissolved. So I kept trying to fold the papers into different configurations but they would still dissolve. I then thought I might be drunk from drinking the grapefruit juice so I asked Joe to watch while I wrote a new slogan to see if the paper was really dissolving. He said "Of course it's dissolving. What did you expect when you drink an effervescent drink instead of wine?"

He kept lifting up his black toupee because it was suddenly hot inside the theater. I took off my jacket and Joe said "Oh my god, what's on your arms?" I looked and saw I was sweating coffee so I put my jacket back on. Then David went to the edge of the stage and said "This is the part of the play where we chase the dog." Suddenly we were out on a street in a family resort by the lake looking place. I was running down the street with a bunch of people from the play and could see this german shepard looking dog running ahead of me.

Then I ran out on this wooden bridge that went over the lake and everyone from the play started screaming "No! Stop!" I looked down and saw a bunch of eye balls protruding from the wooden planks of the bridge. Then a guy said "You are NOT ALLOWED to run there unless you are wearing RUNNING SHOES!" He was really mad at me. I looked down and saw I was wearing stilettos. I was embarrassed that I almost put out the eyes on the bridge with my shoes so I said to the guy "Well I'm not allowed to run in these shoes anyway".

I was so embarrassed I went into this cabin by the lake and my friend Trina was there talking on the phone and smoking. There was a bar attached to the cabin but when I poked my head in the door the lady who was tending bar, who was a total redneck looking person, said "we don't serve your kind in here". I was embarrassed again because I figured she was referring to how I almost stepped on the bridge eyeballs. So I went back to Trina's cabin and she was still talking on the phone, so I thought I would take my kindle outside to read but the battery was dead. Just then I saw a bunch of people from the play running out of a forest. I started thinking I should comb my hair so I looked nice when they got to the cabin. And suddenly a voice which was my voice came out of the sky and said loudly "You NEVER comb your hair!"

Then I woke up.

update on my dad

He's been walking around and has stopped taking any pain medication. The doctor said that he had to fart before he was allowed to eat anything but ice chips. Luckily, my dad is good at farting. He apparently farted some time yesterday afternoon and was allowed to eat some soup.

If all continues to go well, which I think it will, he is going to be released from the hospital tomorrow. I may get to see him when I fly to DC on Friday because he's planning to recuperate in Williamsburg rather than Cincinnati. The doc is going to take his staples out on Thursday and then let him know if he can travel.

The doc also said if my dad had waited another week to have surgery the cancer would have penetrated his lymph nodes. Luck was on his side, thankfully...

dad is okay

So my dad had surgery today to remove a kidney, part of his bladder, and some other stuff. His cancer was contained and he is going to be okay.


And he's planning on coming out to Colorado to go hiking with me this summer. Rock on dad.

some sad news about my dad

Well, I'll just share the email my mom sent...

"On Friday, my husband Bob was diagnosed with cancer.  Fortunately, even though it was diagnosed as "aggressive", the Doctor believes that it is fully curable by surgery.  On this coming Thursday, May 26, he will be operated on.  His right Kidney, urethra (sp?) and a piece of his bladder where the urethra is connected will be removed.  The doctor is very optimistic for his full recovery, but needless to say, this is going to be a big trauma for Bob to get through."

Hoping for the best for my dad...today he went for a 40 mile bike ride, and yesterday he did the Indian Staircase in Red River Gorge. So I think he's ready for what ever cancer is going to throw at him, and he's still doing what he loves...

that's not supposed to be there

The growth of bone on the side of my knee - jesus, how did I not notice that????

My neighbor Carol came over after my doctor's appointment on Friday. I was pretty upset but she made a lot of good points about how this is just one more thing I have to work through. I'm trying to look on the positive side of things. Like, now I have a good ending for my book. Zombie knee replaced by metal parts. I wonder if they could make me a mechanical knee recycled out of coke cans. I'm guessing you don't get to choose a color, but I'd like a pink mechanical knee. I don't care if I can't see it. I'll know it's pink and that would make me feel better.

Should have done research on mechanical knees today. Instead I tried to find some work clothes. I hate shopping. I didn't buy anything. Then I went for a walk which, these days, is getting hard to do. It feels like the top part of my leg is completely detached from the bottom part, and that I have a fracture running down the lateral side of my right shin. I got some topical analgesics at the pharmacy (and an unloader brace). The first one I tried, arthritis arrest, not only smelled hideous (baby powder - I don't know why but I HATE that smell, especially when guys smell like it) but it also burned my skin - not to be totally negative, it did reduce the swelling a lot. But I could barely sleep last night because the skin on my knee felt like it was on fire. I tried to wash it off but I guess that shit soaked into my skin. Now I'm using arnicare gel. It doesn't smell and doesn't burn my skin. It's helping a little bit, or maybe that's wishful thinking on my part.

I did find a cool Kate Spade cover for the Kindle my parents bought me but I haven't ordered it yet. I downloaded some books but haven't practiced reading them yet. Still trying to get used to the idea of a Kindle...

Off to Vegas for two days, then Virginia for Wednesday - Friday. I am a little stressed out right now about my leg collapsing while I'm at a customer site. Well, I can only do what I can do and the bad shit will just make a funny story later.

MIA meniscus

I'm having one of those "are you fucking kidding me???????????" moments...

So I went to see the knee doc today. It was almost the reverse of what happened to me 12 years ago. When I went in for that knee problem the x-ray showed a huge hole where my lateral femur knuckle should have been.

This time, the x-ray showed a distended lateral femur knuckle bumping up against my tib/fib. The doc said the bone plug had bone growth which has slowly distorted my knee/femur. I asked where my cadaver meniscus might be (since there was no light of day between my femur and my tib/fib) and she said she didn't know. I asked if it might have dissolved over time or something, but she said that wasn't possible.

So, looks like my only option to be able to keep walking is to get a knee replacement. Bye bye zombie knee, hello metal fucked up robot knee. Ugh. I can't believe I'm so old that I can even get a mechanical knee.

Anyway, I go see a doctor on 16 June who is the doc for the Denver Nuggets. Maybe he'll have something better than the doc I saw today.

Robot knee = no climbing, running, skiing

I can bike and swim...which means, since I live out of a hotel, I do...what...for exercise. Maybe I can get a fake tan and start doing zumba.

I guess I should be grateful my cadaver knee lasted as long as it did. Me and my fake body parts had a good run. 11 years, which is way longer than any doctor thought it would last.

Fuck fuck fuck. Stupid fucking knee.

do I look fat in this knee?

So annoying. My right knee blew up like a fucking parade float on Sunday. I can barely walk on it even today, after 2 days of rest and ice.

Going to see a doctor on Friday. It feels like the top part of my leg is completely disconnected from the bottom part of my leg. That's happened before, but normally it goes away in 24 hours...

some Paradox Rockx pics

Timmy O'Neill giving an attentive belay with Christa, Gabe, Faith, and Ethan (red jacket) in the background.

Christa's puppy curled up with her walking foot.

Tommy tries his backwards foot climbing strategy.

Tommy's prosthetic. I asked him if the hole was from getting shot at. It's not, it's from a rock.

Tommy's philosophy is that you can fix anything with duct tape. And that a betty boop sticker is the perfect adornment for a prosthetic.

The back of Tommy's leg. He wanted to make sure everyone saw the cool piston.

Chad Butrick, event organizer, climbing a route. Note that he has a sling going from his leg to his harness. That's because on a climb a few months ago, his leg fell off. With the sling he doesn't have to worry about losing it again.

Tommy and I in the parking lot next to the group camp site. You can tell he's a trouble maker.

Christa belaying Faith on a climb. She has the smallest feet ever (size 5 shoe) and has a specially designed prosthetic foot for climbing.

happy birthday Bob!

My brother Bob's birthday was on Sunday so I sent him some shirts from Banana Republic. I received this email from him on Sunday:

"I got the shirts you sent me.  Thanks!  I'll try to do something stupid while wearing each one and send you a photo."

I wonder if he's actually going to send me some photos...

"the first move off the deck is a heel hook"

I had the BEST time climbing with Paradox Sports this weekend! Pics and stories to follow, but now I have to take a shower and get some sleep (got maybe 8 hours of sleep total this weekend).

Movie of Tommy Carroll, retired US Army, climbing with a backward foot...I met a lot of people this weekend that were really inspiring and amazing athletes, including Tommy, who designs prosthetics and has a wicked sense of humor...

so stop making fun of my eating habits...

http://health.yahoo.net/experts/dayinhealth/new-eating-disorders-are-they-real

I can't help it if I'm a super taster, genetically superior to normal tasters...

"What is Adult Selective Eating? Like kids, adult picky eaters limit themselves to an extremely narrow range of foods. Unlike those who suffer from anorexia nervosa or bulimia, adult picky eaters are seemingly not worried about calorie counts or body image. But so far, researchers don’t know if adult picky eaters just haven’t outgrown childhood patterns or if their eating habits are a new twist on obsessive compulsive disorder. Some may be “supertasters,” with an abnormally acute sense of taste that turns them off certain foods. Many appear to have had unpleasant childhood associations with food."

So, fuck broccoli!

why I need a raise

So here I am in Hartford, CT, working with a client. I thought it was a nice city but my client told me it's dangerous. I agree with him after my GPS took me through a bunch of crack neighborhoods to get home. In fact, he told me not to drive down Albany St. under any circumstances, and where do you think the GPS told me to turn...I drove down the street, it was like scary Baltimore areas near the performing arts center.

So, I'm supposed to be teaching an advanced programming class, but half the students have never seen the tool I'm teaching on. Most people use it for at least 6 months before taking the advanced class. There is a secretary in the class who wants to be a programmer. I'm trying to support her but...for fuck's sake. No smoking is allowed anywhere on the customer site, which is huge, including outside, because it's a company in healthcare. I had to walk a half mile to smoke at lunch. By the time I got out of there at 6 today I had the shakes from no nicotine.

I'm also supposed to be sharing a client in the evening (what, me have a life when I could be working) with another consultant who is a lying sack of shit. I meet with him before customer meetings to decide who will do what and the agenda for the meeting. Then he goes off the rails and proposes crazy stuff to the customer. Today I got an irate call from the customer's secretary because I missed an 11 am conference call meeting that the other consultant set up but failed to attend. A few points on that:

1. the fuck nut consultant did not invite me to the meeting so I didn't know about it
2. the fuck nut consultant knows I'm working during the day somewhere else
3. the fuck nut consultant told my customer's secretary "I know I set up the meeting but Franki was supposed to handle it" so I would get the blame for him missing the meeting

Like, should I rip his balls off? I would, if I thought he had any.

Anyway, I get to do this all again tomorrow.

I need a raise.

all the bird houses

In case anyone actually cares, here are all the bird houses. My mom painted two - the one with the flowers and the one with the blue roof. I had to put them in my garage because it was raining and the waterproof coating I put on them wasn't dry.

rotation

So, I kept looking at Jesse's painting of the ice ax on Thursday night (http://blonstar40.blogspot.com/2011/04/new-painting.html). It didn't look right because the ax was on its side. So, I rotated the picture. I wonder if changing the direction of a picture pisses the artist off. I like the way it looks though.

bird houses

Today I finished painting the bird houses that I bought with my mom after my surgery.

 Lessons learned: it's more fun to paint them when my mom is here (tomorrow I'll post the ones we painted together). I called her while I was painting them and she said she wished we had done them together. The birds probably wish that too...

This is supposed to be a bird house for birds tripping on acid. I've never tripped on acid, but if I ever did, I would want to do it in a lavender and pink house.

This was supposed to be sort of a chinese bird house, for birds migrating from there. I was talking to my sister on the phone when I painted it. That's why I took the time to make shingles on it.

This was supposed to be sort of a Moroccan style bird house. I know, makes you wonder if craft stores should sell paints and unfinished bird houses to just anyone.

This was supposed to be a bird beach house. I can already hear my brother Steve making fun of it. Shut up Steve. Pretend it's a coal powered bird house.

new paintings

Just bought two paintings from Jesse Crock (www.jessecrockart.com).

 

I know, I need to re-install software to clean up my crackberry pictures...

BTW, I was cranking in the gym this week. Today I climbed a 10+ that I thought would be too hard and it was not easy, but not challenging either.

welcome to corporate hell

So, this is how my week has been going...

I finally heard back from the help desk TWO WEEKS after I submitted my trouble ticket because my laptop hit the deck. They sent me a bunch of links to "do it yourself to fix your problems" web sites. Of course, all the links were broken. Which doesn't matter because the problem is fixed...

I'm supposed to be learning new software that I can't install on my laptop because it requires Windows Server 2003. I spent all day yesterday downloading a VMWare image that may or may not have the tool I need installed on it - the tech notes were vague. I did have a log on to a demo server, but for some reason the server isn't working. I've sent three emails trying to get the problem fixed but, of course, have had no response...

I decided I would watch some recorded demos of the software since I can't actually play with it. The demos were recorded using software that requires a license to install it so you can watch the demos. The software is not on the list of free software my company provides. So I have to apply for approval to buy the software which I may or may not get. In the meantime, I can't watch the demos.

So I decided to do some prep work for an engagement I'm doing next week. I of course did not get approval to make travel arrangements until yesterday because who ever in my company had failed to contact the customer to make sure the statement of work was signed. So I ended up with a crap flight that cost a lot of money.

I have to teach a client how to build diagrams like the ones they were shown in the sales demo. The sales guy who did the demo sent me a ppt with the diagrams in it, but they were so minuscule I can't read what's on the diagrams. Then he sent me a file with the diagrams in it that I can't open because it was created using a different version of a database than I have on my laptop (and I can't get his version because it costs money). So finally I asked him to send me an XML version of the diagrams. Of course, no response...

And Monday some knuckle head fellow consultant arranged a 5 PM - 7 PM meeting with a client that is supposed to be my client. Aforementioned consultant apparently wants to keep the client for himself. I was supposed to do the call but the other consultant wouldn't stop talking long enough for me to get a word in edgewise even though we had a call before the call and had exchanged emails outlining how the call was going to go. The consultant brought up a bunch of stupid ideas for the client, so I'm actually glad I'm not working that account. The best part was when, 1 1/2 hours into the call, the consultant finally asked me to do a demo that I was supposed to do 15 minutes into the call. Five minutes before he asked me to do the demo my power went out. In the 6 years I've lived here the power has never gone out. So I couldn't do the demo. Ech.

Really, this is my life. Really.

extreme painting

view from the top of the ladder

I painted my skylight this weekend. It's 20 feet off the ground and I had a pretty shaky ladder. But the skylight looks great!

prickly pink

I've been in kind of a funk lately. So Sunday I decided to go buy some new cacti. Here are pictures of all of my cacti. I only came up with a name for one of the new ones...after my dead cat Prickly Pete, but the cactus is Prickly Pink.

Check out my Christmas cactus...thought it was supposed to only bloom at Christmas...maybe I should stop watering my plants with coffee.

These are all new cacti. Prickly Pink is to the right.

The cactus to the far left is new, replacing an old cactus that got a fungus and died.

just like triceratops

So, for those of you who haven't heard, it turns out triceratops isn't a real dinosaur. It's a teenage version of the torosaurus.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2011/04/14/135351303/the-triceratops-panic-why-does-science-keep-changing-its-mind?ps=cprs

I bring this up because it puts into context something that happened to me yesterday.

I got a panicked phone call from a friend of mine, we'll call her A. A had just found out through facebook that a couple we knew, that have been together since they were 13, broke up. Fucking facebook.

The news saddened me because the male participant in the now defunct relationship is a guy I have always idolized. I know it's stupid to do that to people, but he was one of those guys you couldn't help but idolize. He is handsome, funny, athletic, and intelligent. The couple had been through a lot and it was hard to believe, after everything, that they were breaking up.

It's hard to piece together what happened, but one thing was strange. The guy had a bunch of pictures of himself with another woman on his facebook page (note I am NOT on facebook because I think it's stupid, I logged on with A's account). The pictures were taken by the paparazzi. It appears he might have been involved with someone else while he was married and then got busted by a tabloid.

I don't know. I guess the guys who don't have affairs are non-existent or have a low level of testosterone. This guy just didn't seem like the type to do something like that. I always thought he would have more respect and trustworthiness to pull shit like that. He never seemed to be the kind of guy who would break a promise.

Sad days...first the dinosaurs aren't what we believe...now people are changing too...it's like nothing is what it appears to be...

And, oddly, I think I saw my ex from Maryland yesterday. Similar truck to what he used to drive, same ugly blue cloudveil shirt, gym sticker and gear stickers matched what he used to have on his truck back in the day...it was strange. I had just been to the UPS store to drop off my shit laptop (my new one arrived yesterday morning). I was waiting to turn onto Colorado when I noticed the gym sticker on the car in front of me. Then I tried to speed up to see who was driving but the person seemed to be speeding up and changing lanes to avoid me. The person tried to make a right turn right after I sped up behind him, and then cut over 4 lanes and made a left turn into a little fast food place.

I couldn't really see the driver. Probably it wasn't him. I'll be pissed if it was him because that means not only did the asspipe move to MY state but he's also in my neighborhood (the whole reason I moved from the east coast was so I would never have to see him again). But it could have been a coincidence about the truck and the shirt and the stickers. And, maybe that guy is writing on his blog right now how some psycho wearing a black baseball cap with a black car was following him for a quarter of a mile.

I am often mistaken for an undercover cop. Ha.

the secret of the universe...revealed here!

Still blaming paint fumes for my crazy dreams...I painted my kitchen yesterday....

Last night I had a dream that I was working in this building that looked like a school, except that it was an office. Everyone was running around like crazy but I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to be working on. In fact, my job there was so boring that I realized as I was walking down the hall that I had forgotten to go to work the day before.

I ended up walking into this women's lounge. There was a huge bathtub and two women were sitting on the edge of the bathtub holding a book that looked like the gutenberg bible with all these intricate drawings. They screamed when they saw me, and then an older, professor looking man with spectacles came out of a broom closet and said "oh god no!" I was like "what?" And he said "I can't tell you, it's classified". I was like "dude, I have a clearance."

So then he was like "great, you can help us with our project". I asked what the project was. He said "we've built the largest telescope in the world, and it's in the attic of this building". I was like really, how cool. He said "we are writing the story of the universe in this book (the gutenberg bible looking book) after we find the stories in the stars". So I said "it turns out I'm a writer too".

Everyone got excited and said they would take me to the telescope. I was excited too, though I pointed out they had put the secret entrance in the women's lounge, so it would look suspicious for men to go in there. The secret entrance was like a dumb waiter in the wall, but when I stepped into the dumb waiter it flipped around (like the handle of a mailbox) and dumped me into a tunnel, where I was vacuumed up into the attic.

The attic was a super technical operations center, and the telescope was huge and beautiful. I was really excited to use it. The professor guy said "Okay, when you look through the eye piece, you will see all the secrets of the universe, and then you will write them in this book".

I looked through the eye piece and saw....

Five white dots. Five fucking white dots. It was like the big dipper, but not even close to being as cool.

Everyone in the room started saying "isn't it so amazing?" I suddenly felt really depressed because I thought maybe I just couldn't see the secrets, or these people were so crazy they thought 5 dots were the universe.

Then I woke up.

hero orca

I found Patric's video interesting because last night I had a dream about sharks.

In the dream I was with my friend Brassy (JoJo) and we were driving through this beautiful gorge to get to my vacation home (which only exists in my dream, of course). I was telling Brassy how relaxing it would be at the home and how everything would be perfect there (Brassy and I have been having some bad attitude times lately).

There was a river running through the gorge, but it was like the ocean, and it was full of sharks, dolphins, and orcas. We stopped the car and watched them jumping out of the water. I was very happy.

But then this busload of teenage kids pulled up. All the kids got into the water with these hideous inflatable toys. I was so pissed because they were ruining the view. Then a bunch of the boys started picking up the sharks and punching them, or holding them out of the water so they couldn't breathe.

I started getting upset so Brassy yelled at the kids, but they were making fun of him. I said to Brassy "our beautiful vacation is ruined". But then a huge orca came out of the water. It's head filled the entire gorge. All the kids started screaming. I was like "good, the monster will eat everyone and then we can relax".

Then I woke up.

Note that my house has been filled with paint fumes for the past two days. No idea what this dream means...

cool vid of a redneck getting a lesson about the pointy end of a shark

I just watched this hilarious video from my friend Patric's shark blog:

http://sharkdivers.blogspot.com/2011/03/sunburnt-redneck-and-sharks-bad-combo.html

Ouch, quit it.

Safety first, indeed.

It's not that I'm bored today, watching internet videos. I'm stuck in my office because I have painters here painting my ceiling...

ever wonder about your energy efficiency?

I got this from my brother, and decided to post it because I found it interesting, and I want at least a few of my postings to be intellectually interesting...

From Steve:

I’m glad to see that I’m writing your blog now.

 

Maybe we can jazz it up a little bit, the RSS feed was a good first step.  This means I can monitor your/my blog now.  We should talk more about energy issues.  Here’s an interesting email I wrote to a Virginia business woman.  She was wondering about the cost and consumption of electricity compared to natural gas for residential homes in the Richmond area.  She found my information though our Virginia Energy Patterns and Trends project (VEPT).  Several links are Virginia specific, but the information can be generalized to any location. 

 

VEPT is currently an inactive project and data for 2011 is not available.  Assuming that residential efficiency hasn’t changed dramatically, there will be little difference in the information from 2007 to current.  I would direct you to these two tables:

 

http://www.energy.vt.edu/vept/electric/showtable.asp?headerid=2

http://www.energy.vt.edu/vept/naturalgas/disposition_eia.asp

 

These show total consumption of electricity and natural gas for the state.  We do not have access to more detailed, like county specific data.  This isn’t data like “gas used for heating air” or “electricity used for heating water.”  Consumers don’t report these values to anyone, and most wouldn’t know the percent of their electricity bill that goes to the end use.  DOE attempted to provide guidance with reports such as this one:

 

http://www.eia.doe.gov/emeu/reps/enduse/er01_us.html

 

Virginia has taken a similar approach and published the energy saver’s handbook also the Virginia Energy Plan. You can get this from DMME or from here: http://www.energy.vt.edu/vept/energyover/index.asp

 

The comparison you are asking about is difficult to do without making a large number of assumptions.  If the house is built to identical code standards with equally efficient

appliances there will be negligible difference in energy (i.e. capacity for work) consumption.  This energy will be delivered in the form of natural gas or electricity meaning that the price paid difference will simply be the per unit energy cost of the fuel.  The major factors are the insulation factor (this includes windows and insulation), HVAC efficiency, water heater efficiency and appliance efficiency.  The usage, of course, is also important, but not relevant to your question.

 

Unfortunately, this means that one cannot make a definitive statement about the benefits of one fuel source over another.  I find resources like WellHome (http://www.wellhome.com) and Energy Savers (http://www.energysavers.gov/) to have good articles that are targeted for the general consumer.  They have several nice graphics like:

http://www.wellhome.com/blog/2010/03/whi23-energy-of-appliances-infographic/

 

GE has an excellent tool to describe appliance efficiency here: http://visualization.geblogs.com/visualization/appliances/

 

There are several companies in the commonwealth that specialize in doing energy audits of houses.  See: http://www.energysavers.gov/your_home/energy_audits/index.cfm/mytopic=11160

 

This sort of audit on specific houses will let you do an apple to apple comparison.  A company that does energy audits in your area should be able to offer generalizations based on their experiences.

helpless desk

Considering I'm a consultant for a huge IT company, it does not seem unreasonable that I would expect the help desk to provide help for my laptop.

What the hell was I thinking...

I submitted a trouble ticket on Friday (I tried to CALL the help desk, but after being transferred to four different numbers, none of which was the right number, I gave up - stupid me, calling the number listed on the IT help desk web page) because a virus shut down my firewall. Seems like a CRITICAL problem, right????

Wrong. I never heard back on my ticket. So yesterday I did some research (not on the help desk web page - it was full of useless information and broken links) and fixed the problem myself. Today I got a bitchy email from the help desk saying my ticket was going to be closed due to inactivity.

What the fuck?????? They don't respond back to my ticket, which allows them to close it because no activity has been done on it? I fired off an email back to the help desk saying the reason there was no activity on the ticket was because they never responded back to it. So then the help desk called me to show I guess that they were doing SOMETHING. And what they did was transfer my help ticket to another organization because they want me to re-image my laptop. Though, having researched doing that last week, I found out that you have to download a bunch of software for re-imaging (they don't send out CDs anymore because that would be helpful) and the files for download are either missing or have errors. One guy had his hard drive wiped clean and then couldn't re-install Windows XP on it, nor could he access the help desk web page as he was being told to do because he couldn't install anything on it. He put a crazy message on the help desk blog about his problems (from someone else's laptop).

Poor thing. I wonder if he's in a padded white room salivating on himself and singing christmas carols.

I'm glad I work at a company full of unhelpful fuckers. Meanwhile my laptop is operating at half mast. Not like I have real work to do...assholes.

a slight correction

From my brother Steve (meant to post this on Friday but my computer crashed):

I did notice an error in my email.  I removed a sentence that made things more complicated, and inadvertently used the word combinations, instead of permutations.  It should be obvious which one is which, but you can flip a coin when you fix it.

 

http://betterexplained.com/articles/easy-permutations-and-combinations/

my mathy family

I knew that sooner or later, after I posted my little caesar's story, someone in my family would weigh in. I swear I have the mathy-est family in the world. From Steve (sorry if this embarrasses you, I didn't see any legal restrictions on reprinting your email). I've bolded my favorite parts:

"I read your article “pizza facts and factorials“.  Your article may be factual in its recollection of events but the actual way this calculation is done is wrong.  Simple factorials will tell you all possible combinations, allowing for repeated selections.  You should treat the problem as a combination problem.  This is very common problem in computer applications and does not require the services of a mathematician, a undergraduate college student will suffice.  In fact, a Wikipedia article or an article from Microsoft is sufficient to explain both the problem and how to do the calculations.

  Some time ago, the historical Blacksburg pub, the Cellar was redoing their menu.  They wondered exactly how many combinations of calzone they offered. Much drunken intellectual debate, that closely resembles your article,  ensued.  Because of Tammie, they asked me do the calculation for them.  My report to them is below, including a simple spreadsheet that will do the calculation for them in case they add or remove toppings.  To this day their menu states, “Try one of our 6,144 calzones” on the cover.

So what’s the answer for Little Caesar’s?  It’s 44,552 per pie or 89,104 for both, assuming they have 23 potential toppings (probably a bad assumption). "

Hahahahahaha...I knew I could get at least one more person obsessed with the little caesar's problem. 

 In closing, I can't believe those assholes didn't take the time to hire someone to provide a mathematically correct answer. And if anyone wants a copy of my brother's spreadsheet, too bad. Only I am allowed to have it.

pizza facts and factorials

After all these years, I don't know why I'm still obsessing about this...

Back in the early nineties there was a little caesar's commercial on tv (I found it on youtube - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmlRAstCCro). In the commercial there's a pizza special - 2 pizzas, 5 toppings each. The little boy in the commercial says "wow, the possibilities are endless". The dad says "what do you mean, 5 + 5 are 10". And the little boy says "actually, it's 1,480,576 possibilities".

So, for fun, I decided to try to calculate the number. I decided it would be a factorial:


n•(n - 1)•(n - 2)•(n - 3)....•1

For 5:
5•4•3•2•1 = 120

Not even close.

So I wrote the number and the problem on the white board in my office to work on when I needed a break. That proved to be a disaster since I was working with a bunch of mathematicians. Everyone became obsessed with the problem and we would spend hours arguing about it.

One of the mathematicians said that, since you could get all the same toppings on one pizza, the problem was 30! (5 toppings + 5 of the same topping * 5 - though this was debated as being wrong). That answer:

30! Factorial -    265,252,859,812,191,058,636,308,480,000,000

We then began calling little caesars pizza places to find out how many toppings they had to select from. The average was 10 so we did 10! -  3,628,800.

After more arguing, calculating, and one guy writing a computer program, we gave up on finding the answer. So I went to the library (this was back before companies were on the internet - wow, that makes me feel old) and looked up the address for little caesar's corporate headquarters. I sent a letter to the president asking how the number used in the commercial was calculated. I suggested in my letter that they must have hired someone to calculate the number, rather than making something up, because it wouldn't have been that expensive to hire a mathematician. And I also had a rambling paragraph about the sorry state of math in the US.


In response I received a form letter, and $30 worth of coupons for free little caesar's pizzas. I gave the coupons away and have, to this day, never eaten little caesar's pizza because I was so pissed about the commercial. 


Last year I finally took the commercial number off the back of my calculator, where I had taped it in case I had a sudden insight into where it might have come from.

snake face

I had another weird dream last night. In the dream I was in a doctor's office because I had cancer. The doctor was pushing me around in a wheel chair and he said that since I had to have surgery for the cancer I should also consider getting plastic surgery. I was like "I don't think I need plastic surgery" and the doctor said "but we can make you look unique!"

Then I saw a wheel chair coming in the other direction. There was a small woman, and she had cloth where her nose had been removed. Her entire face was covered with white beads sewn into her skin, and he eyelids had black beads. The doctor said "this woman had her nose cut off and her face beaded so she could look like a snake". She did look like a snake, sort of. And I got scared as her chair was getting closer to mine. When she was about 10 feet away from me she took a huge leap out of her chair and I realized she was jumping on top of me and that she was going to kill me.

Then I woke up

Publish Post

lights

On Saturday I finally, after four years of procrastination, bought new track lighting for my house. I hate shopping, especially for boring things, like lights.

I had done some research and had an idea of what I wanted. I went to lamps plus and was immediately engulfed in the mob that was shopping there. I was like are you fucking kidding me? Why would so many people be shopping for lights on a beautiful Saturday afternoon (I had to because it was the only day I could go). There were literally lights, fans, and water fountains every where, all blinking and blowing and bubbling at the same time. On top of that, there were three families with small children running and screaming all over the place (seriously people, please - don't take your kids in public if you can't control them - like what possible reason is there to bring kids to a light store? - shop online or leave them at home - just because your kids torture you with their bad behavior is no reason to expose the innocent public to your bad parenting).

I did what I usually do in those situations. I stayed on the perimeter of the store, near the windows, and decided I would walk around the perimeter of the store and leave. As I was heading into the first perimeter turn an older guy sitting in a chair in the corner of the store said to me "Hi". I said hi back and smiled. Then he said "you knocked me down, you owe me $500,000". I was like what the fuck, so I ignored him and kept walking. So he said, louder this time "You KNOCKED ME DOWN. You owe me $500,000!" Tres embarrassing. Why do the crazies always target me? I later saw him with a younger woman carrying the biggest floor lamp ever out of the store.

As I was about to leave a sales guy came over to me and asked if I needed help. Um, duh! I explained my idea for replacing all my track lighting, showed him pictures, and then he passed me off to another sales woman. She kept me waiting for 10 minutes while some annoying fuck asked her the same damn questions over and over again:

"does this lamp come in red?"
"no, it only comes in silver or gold"
"can I order it in red?"
"no, it only comes in those two colors"
"okay, so I guess I have to figure out what color I want...(pause) does it come in red?"

I could have screamed. But, then another sales woman came over. For the third time I explained my project. She did a great job helping me pick out light fixtures and fans for my room and my dad's room. But, it was still BORING. And took TWO hours. I don't ever want to have to do anything to my track lights again after this project is done.

Tomorrow the electrician is coming to give me an estimate. I can't wait until my new lights are up!!!!!

missile stickers

Last night I had the weirdest dream.

I dreamed the FRG and I were working security in the white house. Bush Jr. was still president. Anyway, we were sitting in an office outside Bush's office "protecting" him.

We were bored and suddenly the FRG said "wouldn't it be funny if we made something on Bush's door so it looked like a big missile blasted through it?" I was like hm, that would be kind of funny. So I went out on the internet and downloaded a bunch of free graphics and then I made a power point presentation that looked like a big hole made by a missile.

Then we snuck down to a special office that had a printer that made cool stickers and made a huge sticker of my power point. We then snuck back up to the office and put the sticker on Bush's door. A few seconds later some secret service guys came up to yell at us because we had left our post. Then they saw the sticker and they were like "oh my god! the president!"

I was like "it's just a sticker" and they were like "that wasn't funny, you're fired". The FRG said "Yay, we hate working here!" and gave me a high five.

FRG and I started laughing really hard. Then I woke up because I had started really laughing.

No idea what that dream is supposed to mean...

shelf whip

This is a video of a friend of mine climbing on the wall opposite where I was climbing. He's the light blue figure moving almost in the center of the frame. It has a sad ending and graphically illustrates the meaning of the word "whip" as it applies to climbing. I'm the one snickering at the beginning of the video and then the rest of my climbing group is cheering the climber on.

getting sporty at shelf

I enjoyed hanging out at shelf this weekend...it was the first trip I've ever taken for climbing where I camped out with other people. Usually my trips are just me and what ever rope gun I'm hanging out with.

One weird thing though...everyone was a sport climber. Sport climbers are strange. Really, really strange. Some examples:

• They give each other beta before and during climbs. That would be a good way to get your ass kicked if you're with trad climbers.
• People who have been climbing for only 6 - 8 months can climb 5.11b sport routes. That amazes me. Hell, even I climbed some 5.11 routes. How is that possible? I suck!
• They talk obsessively about climbing. Literally, from the time they get up until they go to bed. They seem to remember every move on a route, in fact, they MEMORIZE moves on routes. Weird.
• They put chalk marks on holds so they'll remember them. That seems a bit like cheating to me.
• They file holds if they are too sharp. They make new holds by knocking stuff off that's loose. They always argue that routes are over rated, or under rated. You never hear a sport climber say "that route was rated 10d and it felt like 10d".
• No helmets, so they get cranky when you knock rocks down. But then they climb on chossy shit that has loose rocks.
• They share ropes and slings. I was amazed when climbers would leave their draws on a route so someone else could climb on it.
• They hate to walk. They're like boulderers. They'll climb crap rock because the good rock is a half mile further and that's too far.
• They bring their annoying dogs that pee everywhere, bark, and eat food from your backpack (I think trad climbers are better about that, but maybe not much better)

Definitely a different scene than what I'm used to. Most of the trad climbers I've hung around talk with their feet, not their mouth. But spray is common in camp and on route. There were times when I was climbing and three different people were yelling advice to me. Or, as I was tying into a route, people would come up and say "the key hold is blah blah blah". But then they'll sit there and argue if someone red points or flashes a route "oh he climbed that two years ago so it's not a red point" or "he only flashed it because I gave him beta".

Though, to be honest, I'm enjoying sport climbing because it's convenient, easier than trad, on face rather than in cracks which I hate because they're always full of shit or snakes, and I don't have to commit to a full day of hauling up some huge face only to get lost finding the bolts at the top, then run out of water, then be starving too, and then have to hike down in my climbing shoes.

My favorite things my fellow climbers said to me this weekend:

"I won't try ice climbing because it's stupid" (whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? the closest sport to crack cocaine stupid???????????????)
"Some day I want to try a multi-pitch climb" (from a guy who had been climbing for TWENTY years! my second climb I ever did outside was a multi-pitch climb)
"All those trad routes are rated soft" (like they forget you have to put your own pro in instead of just clipping into a bolt - for the record, the FRG agrees with me on this)

how climbing is like life

I was talking to my neighbor Carol on Monday. She's coming out with a new addition of her book (http://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Fall-Carol-Hampson/dp/0615208347) and wanted some feed back on the changes she had made to the cover.

She noticed my hands and forearms are torn up and scabby from climbing at shelf. I was telling her about how I need to work on my foot work. She knows about climbing at shelf because she did a lot of research for her book, which is about her son, a climber who died in Yosemite.

Then we started talking about my book. I told her that I was very frustrated, and that I felt any time I made progress and got excited that something was going to happen, events always transpired to slow down everything. Carol, who knows I'm not the most patient person in the world, was telling me (for like the millionth time) to slow down and enjoy the journey, and that things would happen as they should.

We started talking about how, in a lot of ways, climbing is like writing a book. You have to have good technique to get anywhere. You have to be aware of what you are doing and plan ahead. Then you can't rush things or get into a mental tizzy because things aren't going as planned.

Which is the theme of a post recently on gadd's blog (my smart ass comment at the bottom of the post): http://gravsports.blogspot.com/2011/02/helmet-fire.html

Anyway, I'm trying to enjoy the "journey". Even though it's taking a LONG fucking time. Ech.

Doesn't anyone out there know an agent????????

parents who hate parenting

I know this is going to piss people off, but seriously, seriously....


http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/parents-who-hate-parenting-the-latest-trend-2466533/

For everyone out there who tells me I will regret not having kids. Science says NOT.

I spent my weekend camping, climbing, and drinking wine. Yeah, my life sucks.

shelf

Just returned from a weekend climbing at Shelf with some friends from the gym. Will post tomorrow, and may include a funny video if the FRG gives me permission.

Quote of the weekend, from Gordie, an 11 year old climbing phenom (leading a 5.11a when we met), who was belaying his dad on a route - his dad has put up some really hard routes in Clear Creek and Devil's Head):

"There's a good hold up there dad. You just have to figure out how to climb up to it."

The essence of climbing...

Second best quote, from Gordie's dad (paraphrased, I'll try to get the exact quote) to Gordie:
"As long as you are under my roof and I'm paying your expenses you are not allowed to downgrade any of my routes".